The Days in the White House
by Tiva
Summary: Two fanfic authors are pulled into their own fic through a programming glitch, and the story proceeds to go crazily awry. Blatent self-insertion.
1. Prologue

A Day in the White House Prologue

A/N: shameless self-insertion.

Carolyn: I hate self-insertion fics. 

Tiva: However, they're fun to write. Just annoying for others to read. 

Carolyn: And then it becomes their problem. So this is your warning. You don't like authors mingling with bishounen and meddling in places where they don't belong?

Tiva: Carolyn, you're ranting. Anyway, this fic sort of goes from the anime characters' viewpoints to ours. 

Carolyn: Whatever. This is our fic, and if you don't like it, don't come crying to us. We already know the problems with it, we just don't really care. ^^

Tiva: Or we don't care that they care. Moving on…enjoy or don't, your choice. ^_~

Carolyn: Rightio.  

Disclaimer: insert standard disclaimer here. We own ourselves.

This fic was co-written by Carolyn, Lumira, and of course, myself, Tiva. This might account for differences in writing style that the reader may find. ^-^'

Two figures sat hunched over a laptop. One of them was talking so fast that it was hard to tell if she was really talking, or just making nonsense sounds. The second person was listening with a slightly glazed expression. 

"Igotthisreallycoolnewsoftwarethatyoucanusetomakefanfics!Andnotonlydoesitimproveyourstories,butitmakesavirtualreality,sothatyoucanenteryourfic!Isn'tthatcool!"

The second girl blinked, then her ears caught up with her brain, and she nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah!Thatrules!Let'stryit!"

The two girls were so engrossed with the laptop, that they completely disregarded the packaging for the new program, upon which was, in bold red letters, WARNING. SPECIAL CODE MUST BE INSERTED INTO PROGRAM FOR SAFE OPERATION. IF THESE INSTRUCTIONS ARE NOT FOLLOWED, THE OPERATORS MAY ENCOUNTER PROBLEMS. KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN. 

And so the story began… 


	2. The First Day in the White House

A Day in the White House

It was a beautiful day. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming, and all around the world there was a feeling of togetherness. 

Enter the White house, where chaos reigned…as usual. A priceless vase flew through the air. A figure dove to catch it. 

"Presea, please! This is an extremely old Babylonian urn! Have patience!" An enraged roar split the silence.

"MOKONAAAAAAAAAA!"  

A white ball of energy bounded around the room, keeping just out of reach of the furious maid. President Eagle Vision sighed, and lunged to catch another piece of art. The door was flung open, and Eagle's advisors burst into the melee. Clef struggled to make himself heard over the commotion. "What is going on here?!" No one noticed him. 

Geo sighed, then thundered, "Stop this at once!" 

All activity ground to a halt and everyone turned to him. "That's better."

Eagle stood, brushing himself off, and taking control of the situation. "Now, Presea, what seems to be the problem?"

"This—this POWDERPUFF completely destroyed all the paperwork that I spent hours arranging!" 

Mokona looked up innocently. Eagle looked down at it. 

"Mokona, this isn't the first time this has happened. I think you should go down to the jail and see what the warden can think up for you to do." If possible, Mokona paled.

"Puu…puu…?"

"Yes." Eagle continued to look down at the creature until it left. Then he sighed. "I do hate to do that." Geo clapped him on the shoulder. 

"Don't worry about that." He consulted his schedule. "There's a tour group at 2:00, another one at 3:00, then dinner with the commanders at 7:00. You'd better get ready." 

Eagle nodded, and left the room with his advisors, replacing the jade miniature on his way out.

Mokona padded its way dismally to the jail. There was no worst punishment then coming here. Ahead, he could hear yelling, though who was doing it was unknown. As it got closer, it could make out words.

"I'm going to kill you all! Humans are imperfect, immoral, animals!"

"Burn! Burn it all! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"I will destroy Inu-Yasha and take the Tetsusaiga!"

A redhead sitting nearby threw a rock at the last speaker idly. "Sure you will." She looked up as Mokona inched into view. "You get in trouble again?"

"Puu…"

"Well, I've got plenty of things for you to do. Scrub the floor, feed the prisoners, and polish the bars…" She smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. Mokona shrank back. Inside one of the cells, Knives threw a rock at the warden. "Nothing can stop me! I alone will remain! Vash, you fool! Humans are worthless!" Asuka stood up. 

"I've had enough of you."

There was a brief scuffle, and when it ended, Knives was dangling upside down by his shoes, which were wedged into a crack in the wall. His eyes were distinctly unfocused. Asuka brushed off her hands and glared at the other two. "Anyone else?" Dilandau and Sessho-Maru shook their heads silently. 

"Good." Asuka sat down again. Mokona quickly went to get a bucket and mop. The sooner it finished, the sooner it could get out of here.

Hikaru surveyed the group she was going to be taking. "Is everyone here? Would you answer when I call out your names? Tiva?" 

The first author grinned. "Here."

"Carolyn?"

The second author jumped slightly. "Here!"

"Maximilion Pegasus?"

A man in a red suit smiled evilly. "Here."

"Mizuki Kaho?"

A woman with long red hair looked peacefully over the group. "Here."

Hikaru consulted her list again. "A party of four: Jadite, Nephrite, Zoicite, and Malachite?"

The strangely dressed group chorused in eerie harmony. "Here."

"Well, that's everyone. Let's get going, then!" As they walked up the steps, she began explaining the history of the White House, and the many presidents that had occupied it. Tiva and Carolyn's grins got bigger as the entered the building. Then suddenly, they dashed towards the reception desk. Behind it sat an enormous man, typing up a report on the computer. He looked up at them, and asked, 

"Do you have an appointment?" 

"'s" squeaked the authors, looking up at him. 

Lantis glanced down at his computer. "I don't see—" Tiva quickly pulled out a laptop and typed a few sentences. Lanitis's gaze unfocused for a moment, then he said, "Ah, yes. The President will see you shortly." He pressed a button, and another man, equally huge, stepped into view. The two authors swiveled their necks to look up at him. Lafarga looked back down impassively, then pulled a scanner out of nowhere, and ran it up and down both girls. 

"Just a weapons check. Ok, you're clear." Another person appeared out of the hallway, and both authors squealed slightly. Eriol nodded to them. 

"If you'll come with me…" He gestured down the way he'd come.

The authors traded huge grins and followed Eriol.

Eagle looked up at the approaching schemers as Eriol led them into the room. 

"Yes?" questioned the president. 

"Ahh…" Carolyn collapsed into a happy puddle.

"Well, now she can die happy," Tiva remarked with a sigh. Eagle gave them both a quizzical look. 

"Who are you?" Carolyn unpuddled and grabbed Tiva's laptop. Quickly, she wrote a few sentences with a grin. "Aha! Carolyn and Tiva! We have been expectantly awaiting your arrival! You should have let us know when you were coming. We would have sent the limo." Carolyn fainted then got up again and gave Tiva a sharp elbow to the ribs.

"Why didn't you tell the man? I can't take you anywhere!"

"Well, considering that this is a _recent_ plot device, I don't see how I could have!"

"You could have started it over, the _right_ way. Duh!" 

Eagle gave a slight cough, and both girls turned to him with expressions of adoration.

"Yes, Eagle my love?" Carolyn questioned. Tiva jabbed her sharply. "Ow!"

"Never mind her. What time was the dinner scheduled for?" 

"Umm…" 

Geo popped up out of thin air, said, "7:00," then disappeared just as quickly. 

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but what was that? Never mind...I don't think I want to know…" Tiva said. Eagle nodded absently. 

"My advisors have a way of appearing just when I need them. Quite handy, really."

"Nifty-Neato!" exclaimed Carolyn, with starry eyes. Eagle looked down as Clef appeared by his side and handed him a note. 

"Ah, yes. I need to greet the tour group. Would you like to come with me?"

"YES!!!!!!! I mean…yes, we would be delighted," said both girls simultaneously. Then they looked at each other and both yelled "Jinx!" at the same time as well. Eagle gave them a strange look, and murmured, 

"Very well then. Lets go, shall we?" He jerked slightly as the girls each latched onto his arms.

"Let go, Tiva! He's mine!"

"Is not! Who came up with this idea anyway!?" 

"I did! DUH!"

"Did not! _I_ was the one that got the idea of Eagle for president…"

With a resigned sigh, Eagle left the room, towing the two bickering girls.

"And this is the Green Room. It's a room, it's green, hence the name. Any questions?" Hikaru bounced down the hall, pointing out the little details. "Hey Eagle! I mean, Mr. President!" she genkily shouted. Eagle nodded cordially at her, and bestowed a winning smile at the tour group. 

"Hello Hikaru, everyone. I hope it's all going well," he said, causing the authors to glare at the group and tighten their grips on his arms.

"Yep, yep, yep! It's going great, President Eagle!" Hikaru bubbled happily, while hopping up and down on one foot. 

"How much sugar did she have this morning?" murmured Tiva to Carolyn, sotto voce.

"I have no idea, but I have a feeling it's a _lot_," Carolyn whispered back.

The tour group watched them in silence. 

"So, uh, where are you all from? Someplace quiet? Hehehe…" Carolyn asked and giggled nervously at the silent assemblage. The answers were given nonchalantly.

"Tomoeda."

"I'm from England, but I'm currently living in Japan."

"The Negaverse."

"Ah…I see…sorta…" Tiva said. 

"Um, ditto." Carolyn wittily added. 

Eagle sighed inwardly. It was going to be a long evening.

Deep in the dungeon, er, jail, Mokona scrubbed half-heartedly at the floor until a shriek from Asuka sent it scurrying. Dilandau was over in his corner, calling for vengeance against Van Fanel and piteously moaning, "cheek, cheek." Sessho-Maru was clawing at the wall in a half-hearted attempt to escape. Knives was curled up in a ball, muttering murderous threats. 

Asuka finally yelled, "Will you all just SHUT-UP before I have to get violent!!!" which effectively put a stop to all conversations, if they could be titled that. Asuka got back to painting her toenails blood red.

Mokona plodded miserably towards her, and uttered a frightened "Puu." Asuka looked up. 

"You're done? Fine, you can go now-" Mokona was gone. Asuka shrugged, and started to hum. Almost all the prisoners started to moan, but were silenced mid-way by a death-glare to rival Heero Yuy's. Life down there returned to normal, well, as normal as you can get down there, what with three psychotic prisoners and an angry German.  

Hours later, the guests started to arrive. Standing at the entrance to the White House, Zazu grinned with anticipation. All those beautiful cars…and he was the valet. Life was good. Up until Eagle reminded him (with Geo and Lantis looming behind him) not to do anything "rash" with the expensive vehicles.

The first car, a pink limo, glided to a stop at the curb. Relena Peacecraft Darlian stepped out gracefully and smiled at him. He grinned back, and practically shoved her driver out so he could park the car. Relena shook her head slightly, sighed, then brightened when she saw Eagle. 

"Really, Mr. President, it's been to long. We should get together more often," she greeted.

"What a good idea," replied Eagle, smiling at her. Carolyn glared ruthlessly at her, until Tiva leaned across Eagle and whispered, "Relax, she has Heero, remember?" Carolyn brightened, smiling impishly up at Eagle. Eagle sweatdropped, and would have backed away, but for the fact that the two rabid fan-girls were clinging onto him like limpets.

Zazu ran up, just in time for the next car to pull up. 

The door was flung open, and Quatre sprang from the interior with a smile, followed sedately by Dorothy. She graced them with a smile, although since it was Dorothy, it was more like a smirk. A pretty smirk, but a smirk nonetheless. Eagle greeted them, and led them inside. 

The dining room was already laid out when Eagle and his guests entered. All the people who worked at the White House were already there as well, excluding the criminals. Tiva and Carolyn dashed to secure seats next to Eagle. As she fought with Carolyn for the rights to sit on Eagle's right, Tiva dropped her laptop. Eriol entered, and promptly tripped over it. 

"What's this?" He discreetly left the room, taking the laptop with him, then activated it. Words scrolled down the screen. As he read, his typical evil look slid into place. This was perfect.

The food was being served and it was going smoothly, considering. The waiters moved between the guests, filling glasses and setting down food. Small talk floated around the room as everyone dug in. Vice President Touya looked up the table at the two authors, and murmured to the Head of Security, "Who are they?" Tomoyo cast a look in their direction, then whispered, 

"They're the President's guests. I saw it on his schedule." Touya looked unconvinced, but disregarded it. He then turned to the person on his other side, the navy (heehee) commander, Tasuki, and discovered they didn't have a lot in common.

In his office, Eriol slowly typed in a few sentences, chuckling softly.

Yue, the Air Force commander, was quietly conversing with his second officer, Van Fanel, when he heard a popping noise, and then saw Van's gaze slowly move to the top of his head. All conversation hushed, and there was a ripple of movement as everyone turned to look. Slowly, he raised a hand to his head, and brushed against something soft and furry. 

"What…is on…my head?" he asked with deadly calm. Van choked back a laugh and said, 

"B-bunny ears, s-sir." He started to shake with repressed laughter, then gave up. So did the rest of the diners. Laughter echoed throughout the room. Suddenly, similar ears appeared on Clef. He gave a startled gasp and felt up on his head. 

"What's going on!?"

"He's got a point," Tiva said to the hysterical Carolyn, who, at the moment, was rolling on the floor. "I'm pretty sure I didn't write this into the story…" she added. Just as she finished speaking, there was a 'ping,' and both the authors sprouted cat ears. "And I'm SURE that I didn't write this!" she finished. By then, Carolyn was crying with mirth, and said, 

"I'm a kitty! I'm a KITTY!!! MEOW!"   

Tiva rubbed her forehead with a sigh. 

Eriol cackled gleefully, then typed a few more lines. Light glinted off his glasses. That was a sure sign that something wonderfully evil was about to happen. Heh. 

Geo was trying to find out if Clef's ears were really attached, when he suddenly found himself jerked out of his seat, and dressed in a bright pink tutu. He turned the color of his outfit. Lafarga, on the other hand, had been dressed in a dashing tux, and was being jerkily pulled like a puppet over to Geo. In front of the other diners, they began to waltz together. 

"I don't known what you're trying to do, Lafarga, but I suggest you let go. Now." Geo said through gritted teeth.

"You let go!"

"You!"

"I would if I could, believe me!"

"So would I!"

As the two chewed each others head off, Carolyn disappeared from the floor, and reappeared in Lantis's lap. 

"Um…hi?" she said quietly, shocked out of her giggles.

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Um…you give appointments for this kinda thing? If so, can I have, oh, say, a couple hundred more?" Carolyn asked hopefully.

"No."

"Okie Dokes, then. How 'bout Eagle?"

"No."

"Drat. It was worth a shot…."

As Carolyn tried to wheedle Lantis into giving her an appointment with either him or Eagle, Tiva left the room, a grim look on her face. 

Then, Dorothy found herself suddenly in the president's lap. They both blinked at each other, then Dorothy said demurely, "I wasn't expecting this…"

"Neither was I. Do you think you could get off?"

"I don't seem to be able to, no."

They traded horrified looks. Carolyn glared across the room at Dorothy, with a look of pure hatred across her face. 

Tiva stalked down the hallways of the White House, searching each room as she came to it. She had a sneaking suspicion exactly who was doing this, and she intended to extract vengeance. 

"ACKKK! HELP ME! GET OFF YOU GREAT BIG LUNK!!!" screamed an irate Clef. "I'M BEING SQUASHED!!!"

"I can't exactly help it, y'know. And I would appreciate it if you stopped screaming in my…spine." Touya defended himself. Across the room, Tomoyo suddenly yelled, for no apparent reason, 

"I LOVE ERIOL!!!!" She blushed and slapped her hands over her mouth, mortified. This sent Carolyn into peals of laughter once more until Lantis looked down at her, then she began to quietly cower. 

Touya struggled to get off the indignant advisor, to no avail. 

"Ouch! Will you quit wiggling?! That hurts!"

"Well, sorry! I thought you would appreciate it if I tried to rectify the situation!"

Tiva approached a door, from where she could hear insane laughter and the clacking of keys. Stealthily, she crept into the room, and whirled the chair around to confront the culprit. Eriol was in the middle of typing a sentence that said 'Then Tasuki floated out of his seat and into the large punch bowl that was-' She grabbed her laptop from him, glaring. "Ok, you're going to get it! Why wasn't _I_ put in _Eagle's_ lap?!" She furiously typed, and Eriol disappeared with a 'pop.' A little SD doll replaced him. Grabbing the doll, she stuffed it into her pocket and typed one sentence. 

_Then everything went back to normal._

Geo found himself back in his seat, and back in his suit. Lafarga was similarly positioned. The bunny ears disappeared from Yue and Clef's head, and Touya was finally able to get off Clef. Dorothy was sent back to her seat, as was Carolyn, who was still unsuccessful at getting an 'appointment.' She let out a wail. 

"Nooo!"

Around the room, everyone breathed sighs of relief. Things seemed to be back to a semblance of normalcy. Suddenly, the door was flung back, and Tiva strode into the room. She went to the head of the table, beckoning Carolyn to come and see. Carolyn left off her pouting and came over, interested. 

Tiva plunked the plushie onto the table in front of Eagle, announcing loudly, "Everyone! This is the culprit!" She paused to retrieve a mallet from pillar knows where. "Feel free to take your whacks at him-" She was cut off by the blurs that rushed by her, grabbed the mallet, and beat the stuffing (literally) out of the Eriol plushie. The blurs were revealed to be Geo and Lafarga, giddy smiles mixed with grim determination fixed on their faces. There was a slight "ahem" and they paused to turn around. They were greeted by an insanely calm Tomoyo. She held up a pointy needle that gleamed. "Oooooooo…ahhhh….pretty…." went the large line waiting for a whack at the plushie. Tomoyo politely inquired, with an evil glint in her eye,                                            

"May I?"                                  

Geo and Lafarga obliged, inwardly reminding themselves never to tick Tomoyo off. As Tomoyo calmly stabbed the Eriol doll, Carolyn and Tiva could swear they heard shrieks of, " Help me! I didn't mean it! Forgive me! Owwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!" 

"But then again," reflected Carolyn, "it doesn't matter. No way am I getting between an angry Tomoyo with a sharp object and the reason she's ticked off, anyways. In the meantime," she paused to munch on some popcorn that had appeared before her, "this is entertaining!" She leaned over to offer some popcorn to Tiva, who was watching with a satisfied look. "Y'know, Eagle looks kinda lonely over there…I'll go keep him company…don't feel the need to tag along…" Carolyn told Tiva. To which Tiva responded, 

"Oh, I feel the need. I don't want to know what would happen to poor Eagle if I left you alone with him…"

"We would live happily without you, that's what," Carolyn retorted and stuck out her tongue. 

"That's real mature."

"Unlike you," with a tongue right back.

Little did the two oh-so-mature girls stalking their prey, er, walking over to Eagle, know, but deep in the prison, a revolt was brewing…


	3. The Second Day in the White House

A Second Day in the White House 

It was the next morning. The dining hall showed no sign of last night's drama, save for the mangled remains of what might have, at one time, been a plushie. 

The pile of stuffing stirred.

With a groan, the spy known as Eriol turned back into a human. He rubbed his head wearily, and winced as he felt a prick in his side. Tomoyo had used him as a voodoo doll, and he was feeling the effects…heavily. Plus that malleting…But now he knew that he was in a fanfic, and a bad one at that. All he needed was to get his hands on that computer again… 

Alarms sounded in the White House, alerting all those of important status, and even some people who didn't know what important status was. Only the two authors, Tiva and Carolyn, were oblivious. They were currently zonked out on couches, but they eventually opened bleary eyes, taking in the scene. What they saw was a frantic President Eagle Vision as he tried to calm everyone down and find out what the heck was going on, flashing red lights, and a fluffball taking advantage of the confusion and adding to it. Tiva sat straight up and exclaimed, "Whoa!" while Carolyn closed her eyes, turned on her side and promptly fell asleep once more. She shot up with a yelp, however, when Tiva gave her a sharp nudge.

"What was that for?!" asked Carolyn, rubbing sore ribs. 

"You fell asleep! Didn't you notice the chaos?" Tiva said as way of explanation.

"I'm used to it. I have a brother, remember? This is nothing." Carolyn told her matter-of-factly. Tiva rolled her eyes, then gave Carolyn another nudge as the other author was falling asleep. Again. 

"I'm up, I'm up! Sheesh," groused the still sleepy Carolyn. "So, what's the dilliyo?"

"Dilliyo?" 

"Dilliyo"

"Riiiight"

"I am. So what's the story?"

"Well, it's an AU, with all our favorite characters as people in the government! You should know that, Carolyn. You did help write it after all!"

"Arg. I _meant_, what's going on now?" said an exasperated Carolyn. She was tired, therefore cranky, and the day was not looking up.

"Oh. How should I know?" At hearing this, Carolyn slapped her forehead in disgust. Tiva turned and tugged on Vice President Touya's jacket. In response to his glare, she asked in a strong voice with only a hint of tremor in it, "What's going on?" She then added, "Sir."

"The prisoners are revolting." He told her in a flat voice.

"I say, that's a bit harsh! I know they don't bathe all that often, but you don't have to be mean about it!" Carolyn piped in. 

"Yeah!" agreed Tiva. Touya gave a long-suffering sigh, before stating in a voice of a man resigned to a horrible fate, 

"No, they are rising against us. They are trying to start a revolution. Do. You. Understand?"

"Perfectly," Tiva said. Carolyn, on the other-hand said, 

"Well, yeah, I get it, but you can't blame 'em. I wouldn't like living in a jail cell surrounded by other psychos. I would probably do the same thing!" As Tiva and Touya just stared at her with their mouths wide open, she began to get defensive. "Wouldn't you?"

Tiva managed to close her mouth and told her, "Carolyn, these are insane people. Loonies. Crazy. They have killed people. They deserve punishment!! If they get out, they will most likely destroy life as we know it!!"

"Good!" stated Carolyn cheerfully.

"Pardon?" yelled Touya and Tiva simultaneously. 

"Don't have to yell," Carolyn rubbed her ears. "I said, 'Good!' I don't think I like life as we know it right now, so I'm up for a little change. Change never hurt anything." Tiva smacked her head with her palm, as Touya resumed his wide-eyed staring.

"What's wrong? You guys O.K?" Carolyn asked, looking rather worried.

"You know what? Never mind. We'll be going now, Vice President," Tiva said hurriedly, tugging a puzzled Carolyn away. Touya shook his head, and kept staring after the retreating figures. 

The harried Prez was talking avidly to a nonchalant Asuka over a screen. She was filing her nails and the authors could hear her say, "I was bored, they were boring, and so I suggested that they revolt. What's the biggie?" 

They couldn't make out his dazed reply, but instead flung themselves at him, screaming, "EAGLEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Asuka was vaguely interested as two flying blurs and the many "Oofs" that resulted knocked the president out of the screens' picture. She shrugged and went back to filing her nails. 

Meanwhile, deep in the bowels of the White House, the three escaped convicts crept through rooms that hadn't been used since Abraham Lincoln had been alive. Knives stopped at a branch in the corridor. 

"We should go to the armory. I need my gun so I can transform my Angel Arm!" Dilandau shook his head. 

"No, we're going to go to the garage. That's where they parked my guy melef!" Sessho-Maru added his opinion.    

"We should get out of here! The sooner that I leave, the sooner I can get the Tetsusaiga!" Both Knives and Dilandau glared at him. 

"You really want to leave these people alive?" demanded Knives hotly. "They all should die!"

"Especially Van Fanel!" exclaimed Dilandau. Sessho-Maru glared. 

"If I say we go, we go!"

"Oh yeah! I say we go to the armory!"

A furious scuffle took place in the hall. Dilandau quickly was taken out, lacking his sword. Knives and Sessho-Maru were going at it tooth and claw…literally in Sessho-Maru's case. 

Suddenly, a bright light filled the room. When it cleared, Lumira stood between the two fighters, blinking. 

"Ok…where am I?…" she said slowly. Knives and Sessho-Maru stared at her. She quickly became aware of their hostile expressions. "Um…Hi?" Just as abruptly as she'd appeared, she vanished, leaving all three to stare at the empty hallway. 

"…" they said. 

In the main office, Eagle was franticly trying to control the flow of information entering his head. "So you say that a maid in the West Wing saw the prisoners, but so did a secretary in the East Wing?"

"That's right," sighed Geo, rubbing the back of his head. "And the sightings were virtually at the same time, too." Eagle massaged his temples.   
"Tell the security to—" He broke off and a slow grin spread over his face. "No. Inform Commander Fanel to report to Escaflowne. And inform Captain Yue that prisoner Knives will be coming to the armory. As for the other…" He thought for a moment. "Have…Clef take care of him." Clef squeaked. 

"Me, sir?"

"Of course you," said Tiva, coming up with her laptop. "You do remember your magic, don't you?" Clef slowly nodded, and left the room. Tiva nodded to Carolyn. "I think we may have a problem," she murmured. "My laptop is on the fritz: I can't get into Word." Carolyn shrugged. 

"So?"

"_So,_ we can't do anything on the story! _As in, _no more manipulating Eagle!" A commotion disturbed the oh-so-intelligent conversation. Everyone was staring at a rapidly expanding pink patch above VP Touya. 

With a cheerful tinkle of bells, a little girl dropped out of the patch, and into the man's arms. She stared at him, then planted a big kiss on his cheek. "Tuxedo Mask! I finally found you!" Touya's eyes' went wide as the pink-haired girl clung to him, chattering happily. Tiva started to ask Carolyn something, only to find her fellow author on the floor, rolling with laughter. She mused to herself. 

"That looks like Sailor Moon animation, and she mentioned Tuxedo Mask, but my information doesn't cover her. I _would_ ask Carolyn, but she's incapacitated at the moment. I hope my internet still works…" Tiva dialed onto the web, and clicked into her IM. "Bring up…Lumira."

_Lumira, are you on?_

_Yeah, what's up?_

_Never mind that, just, can you help me?_

_With what?_

_Well…I'mtrappedinafanficthat'sgoingcrazyandthisgirljustpoppedoutofnowherewith_

_brightpinkhairyelling'TuxedoMask'andIwaswonderingifyouknewjustwhoshewas._

_O…k. What? S.L.O.W.L.Y._  

I'M TRAPPED IN A FANFIC THAT'S GOING CRAZY AND THIS GIRL JUST POPPED OUT OF NOWHERE WITH BRIGHT PINK HAIR YELLING 'TUXEDO MASK' AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU KNEW WHO THAT WAS!!!!

Ok. Simple. It's Chibi-Usa, the daughter of the future Sailor Moon, come back in time to help the Sailor Scouts.

…

You do know what the scouts are?

YES I KNOW WHAT THE SCOUTS ARE! Anyway, thanks. 

Yeah. You know, the strangest thing happened to me earlier. I was checking my e-mail, then suddenly I was in between two nasty looking guys that just stared at me. Then I found myself back at home. 

Uh oh.

What?!?!?!?!?!?

I think you might be caught in our fanfic…

What do you—

"—mean by that?" asked Lumira. Tiva stared, and Carolyn was shocked out of her giggles.   
"Hoo boy…" Carolyn jumped up, and started to laugh. "Now we've got you, too! This is just great…do you like Eagle?"

"???" accompanied by a blank stare.

"Eagle. That gorgeous looking guy over there."

"???"

"Good. No competition." Carolyn smirked. Tiva sighed and jabbed her sharply. 

"That happens to be one of my best friends."

Meanwhile, Chibi-Usa was squealing at the top of her lungs to Touya, who was holding her at arms length. "I'msohappythatIfoundyouTuxedoMaskandwherewereyouallthistimeI'vebeenlookingalloverforyouand I love you!" Touya's eyes bugged, and he nearly dropped her. 

"Who are you?!" Chibi-Usa disappeared with a faint 'pop' and at the same time, so did Lumira. Tiva started to laugh. 

"He didn't even get to hear who she was!" Carolyn, on the other hand, had been watching Chibi-Usa with a calculating expression. Suddenly, she bounded over to the president's desk, leaned over it, and began talking before Tiva could even follow her. 

"OhEagleyou'rethebestandIwanttomarryyouandwhydon'tyoujustignorethatannoyinglittlegirloverthereafterallI'mmuchmorematurethanherandI'msmartertoo!" She grinned winningly. Eagle blinked slowly at her, and was about to say something, when there was a 'poof' and Lumira appeared again, this time sitting on the desk between them. She looked from one to the other, thinking out loud.

"Adoration…puzzlement. Carolyn…what's-his-face. Adoration…Eagle! You must be Eagle!" The president nodded slowly as Tiva stormed up behind Carolyn and drug her off, growling between clenched teeth, 

"We are going to have a talk, Carolyn…" She looked back and smiled. "Thanks, Mira." She towed Carolyn off to the couches, where the others could barely hear a hissed conversation that consisted of Tiva threatening to tell Tomoyo that Carolyn had helped Eriol with his scheme of the computer. Everyone sweatdropped.

In the shadows of the garage, Commander Fanel peered through the visor of Escaflowne, down at Zazu, who was standing by the door. The valet/mechanic gave him a thumbs-up sign, and disappeared into the darkness. 

A few seconds later, Dilandau plodded through the entrance. They'd agreed to split up, since they would have killed each other if they'd stayed together. He brightened when he saw his melef, though. There it was, sitting in plain sight, just waiting for him to climb inside and escape to hunt down Van Fanel. He grinned happily, and sprang into the cockpit. Activating it, he was about to blast a hole in the side of the building, when he caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye. He whirled. 

"Going someplace?" Escaflowne stepped into the light. Dilandau cursed inwardly, and swung around his arm to fire at Van. His arm came up, and a drill whirred. 

"What? What happened to my melef!" Dilandau franticly tried his melef's other weapons, but to no avail. Only mechanical parts came into view. He stomped forward, and crunched down on top of a limo. Zazu's voice echoed through the hanger. 

"Melef, repair!" 

The melef bent down and began studiously fixing the damaged vehicle.  Zazu stepped into sight. "I put your mecha to better use. What do you think? Oh, and it only responds to my voice commands." Dilandau raged within the confines of his craft, but the controls wouldn't function. Escaflowne stepped up and withdrew the kicking prisoner. 

"You're going back to your cell," said Van with a grin. "And this time, we have a better guard."

Knives crept silently up to the entrance of the armory, eyes narrowed in concentration. He softly opened the door and slipped inside. Abruptly, the lights came on. 

"I've been waiting for you." Yue floated down from the ceiling where he'd been positioned. He dove like an avenging angel at the blonde-haired man, his arm glowing pale blue. Knives dodged, but Yue followed, and attacked. Feathers flew everywhere, and when it ended, Knives was draped over Yue's back, and the Air Force commander was flying sedately back to the jail. 

Sessho-Maru dashed across the immaculately manicured lawn, intent on his goal. He jumped to the top of the wall, and looked around. He was about to leap off to freedom, when a big, slippery body appeared beneath him. He slid down it, his jump rudely halted. Clef stood below, waiting. The strange thing was, he was wearing his robes from the anime. Fyula grinned impishly up at Sessho-Maru, who started to get a bad feeling about this all. 

With a gulp, Fyula swallowed the demon, and turned to Clef. 

"PET RETREAT!" The flying fish disappeared into the gem on Clef's staff. With a sigh, Eagle's advisor turned and went back into the grounds, to the jail.  

With a thump, the last vagrant prisoner was tossed back into their cell. Dilandau sneered at the two others as they got up. "Escape not work as well as you thought?"

"I don't see you loose," snapped Knives.

"Yeah, but I didn't go straight to the armory, like any normal prisoner would!"

Sessho-Maru brushed at himself irritably. Fish spit was all over his clothes. "I wonder if we have the same old guard."

"Oh, like that really matters!"

"Just shut up. None of us were the first ones to be captured!"

Dilandau snarled and sprang at Knives. A quiet voice sliced through the stillness.

"What is going on?" Slowly, the prisoners turned and stared. A woman had come out of the shadows, and was standing in front of the cell. She had red eyes, and blue hair. She was glaring at them. "I am Rei. I will be your new guard. I will not tolerate noise." She turned and sat down, watching them with her creepy eyes. Each prisoner quietly shrank back into their corners and sulked. 

"I think that I liked the old guard better," muttered Dilandau. Rei slowly looked in his direction. 

"Very well. If you like her so much…" She let the sentence hang. Lafarga stepped out of the shadows, opened the door, and dragged the hapless ex-commander out. Striding down the hall with the boy in tow, he stopped at another cell, opened that door, and tossed Dilandau in quickly. Asuka's voice rang out from inside. 

"So, you brought someone to see me, how nice!"

Screams echoed down the corridor.

Back in the main room, Lumira had disappeared, and the president was trying to find out if everything had gone back to normal. 

"Geo, what news from the cell?"

"Everything is under control, and Asuka's been fired and impounded."

"Anything else I should know?" Geo consulted his list. 

"Well, there's a tour group from a school that's been rescheduled to tomorrow, and we have yet to find the spy."

"Eriol?"

"Yes. The stuffing is gone, and we think that he might still be in the building."

"Are you sure that it wasn't just cleaned up?"

"Positive. There's word going around that that room is jinxed, so none of the staff wants to enter it."

"I see." Eagle sighed wearily. Then he brightened. "I know. We need something to boost morale. Why don't we have a party?" Geo cocked his head thoughtfully.

"That sounds good, sir." Like magic, Tiva and Carolyn popped up next to Eagle, clamoring, "Yes, yes, yes, yes!" He smiled down at them, and said,

"Then we will!" He began issuing orders to the staff hanging around the room, and sending messengers to the cooks and decorators. 

"YAY!!! A PARTY!! WHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" Carolyn jumped up and down while screaming at the top of her lungs. Tiva sweatdropped and shook her head, muttering something along the lines of, "How much sugar did you have?" 

Carolyn, hearing the last part, grinned maniacally, and answered, "Lots an' Lots an' Lots!" 

"It's gonna be a loooooong night. At least there's going to be a party, like you just screamed."

"YEP, YEP, YEP!" Carolyn's look of glee was replaced by one of panic. "ARGG! Tiva, what am I going to wear? What am I going to wear????????? Help!"

Tiva stepped back, a little afraid of Carolyn's sudden mood change, and added helpfully, "Clothes?"

Carolyn turned to Tiva with wide eyes and said, "Really? You think so? Hey, wait a second…" she said as her eyes narrowed in a silent threat. Tiva backed up even more, nervously laughing. "Ehehehe…he…he…wear that!", she cried, pointing at some random article of clothing.  Carolyn immediately reverted back to her happy state, holding up the thing in question, saying, "This? But I thought this was what you were going to wear. Considering it's green, and all." Tiva snatched it back, saying, 

"No, not this. Take that, over there!"

"Hmm…. You mean the Heavyarms Custom tee-shirt with the black long-sleeved shirt underneath it with my khaki cargo pants? Or do you mean the Cowboy Bebop tee-shirt with the red undershirt?"

Tiva sweat dropped and said, "Er, both?"

"Brilliant! The Heavyarms shirt with the red undershirt! You are a genius!! Lalalala!"

"Oi."

Eagle was getting ready for the party, i.e. taking a whole lotta aspirin and thinking, _I brought this on myself. I have no one else to blame but myself. Arggg. _He stashed the aspirin container in his secret spot, and turned to the mirror to straighten his tie. Briefly, fleetingly, he contemplated the thought of strangling himself with it, then cast the unruly thought aside. Two knocks sounded at his door, and then a muffled struggling sound, almost like two people madly fighting to be first in the doorway. 

"EEK!!!"

 "Let go of that!!!!!" 

"Hair is not a toy!!!!!!"

Eagle sweatdropped, sighed, then, like a man going to his doom, walked over to the door and opened it. He was greeted by the sight of Tiva holding onto Carolyn's hair, and Carolyn chomping on Tiva's other wrist. They both looked guiltily up at the President, then quickly assumed positions of innocence. Carolyn cried, "Eagle, my love!!!" while at the same time Tiva announced, 

"Eagle, ignore her! I'm the one to love!!!!"

"No, you're not!'

"Wanna bet?"

"You're on!!"

"Ahem."

Both girls froze in attack positions, and whipped back to innocence, giggling nervously. "Ah, Carolyn-chan, methinks we need to sort this out, ne?"

"Outside then?"

"Yeah, sounds good. Ja, Eagle! We'll be back!" Tiva typed a sentence, and she and Carolyn disappeared, Carolyn shouting sweet nothings to Eagle. The poor man sighed, then stepped out of his room and walked down the hall, on his way to the area where the party was being held.

"ROWR!!!" 

You didn't need to guess what was happening outside. Minor debris went flying through the air, and several birds nearby took flight, fearing for their lives. Amid a cloud of dust, the two authors battled. The laptop sat innocently nearby.

 His presence disguised by the ruckus, the White House's gardener walked up. He glanced over at the cloud of dust with interest, then noticed the laptop. He moved over to it, and picked it up. In the middle of their fight, both girls noticed that fact, and froze in mid motion, shouting simultaneously 

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" Vash jumped and dropped the laptop. 

Tiva and Carolyn watched in unmitigated horror as, like it was moving in slow motion, the laptop hit the ground, bounced a few times, then came to a stop. They slowly turned their heads from the carnage to each other, both with identical expressions. Vash raised his head and looked sheepishly at the girls. 

"Er, oops?" Both authors turned to him with expressions of murder. 

"Vash. The. Stampede. How. Could. You. Be. So. STUPID!? You're a genius plant that's over one hundred thirty-one years old, and you just broke our only connection to the outside world!!!" Tiva bellowed at the hapless gardener while smoke poured out of her ears. Carolyn marched right up to him with a very serious expression before she said, 

"Cool glasses. I think I can forgive you if you give them to me. Wadda ya say?"

Vash blinked, then said, "Who are you?"

"We're the people who control your life, Just give her the glasses," snapped Tiva.

"O…k. Are you a plant or something?" The man handed his sunglasses to a happy Carolyn, who did a small dance of glee. Tiva glanced disgustedly in her partner's direction. 

"No, we aren't plants. How you could think she's a plant…" She knelt by the wreckage of her laptop. "How come it's MY laptop that gets broken, but SHE gets the glasses, huh?"

"Cuz I'm Carolyn, duh. Your parents are going to get annoyed at you, though. That's the third laptop you've broken so far."

Tiva shot a murderous look in Carolyn's direction, and then rolled her eyes. "None of those times were my fault! The first time, my cat knocked it off my dresser, and the second time someone tripped over it!" She looked up at Vash. "Hey…waitaminute. In Trigun, Vashy can fix machines, right? Fix my laptop!" She thrust it up at him. Carolyn came back over, styling the shades. 

"But that only worked on plants. Unless there's something about your laptop that you aren't telling me, it's not a plant."

"He can try anyway!"

Vash took the computer slowly, frowning. "How does this work? There's no place for the plant to-" His face blanked out, then he continued smoothly "-I can't do anything for you, sorry. Why don't you take it to Zazu? He's the mechanic."

Tiva gave him a beady look. "I'm not forgetting this, Vashy-kun. You owe me…" Carolyn dragged her off, still grumbling. "Thanks for the glasses," Carolyn called over her shoulder. 

In the middle of her rant, Tiva froze. "The party! We forgot all about the party! And you're not wearing those shades to it!"

"Why not?" Carolyn whined pitifully.

"Because, if you FORGOT we're going to be FORMAL. *hopefully*"

"But, these are formal! And if they don't match _your_ definition of formal, they are still spiffy!!!"

"You're still not wearing them."

"That's what you think."

"I'll have security arrest you at the door for improper apparel."

"You wouldn't!" Carolyn gasped.

"I would. Now, try to see reason. We're going to be attending a party that has the President, the V.P., the advisors, and just about every bigwig in the White House. I'm not going to let you wear _sunglasses_ to that sort of occasion!"

"Pleeaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeee?!"

"No. You can wear them before, and you can wear them after, but not during."

"Pretty please, with a cherry on top?"

"NO."

Carolyn was about to protest more, but an idea occurred to her. "Fine," she sulked, hiding a smirk.

Tiva looked over to Carolyn suspiciously before saying, "Good. Now we need to resolve our little possession dispute fast. The party starts in," she glanced at her watch, "ten minutes. Any ideas?"

"I got one. I get Eagle, you stand in the corner. That work for you?" She bowled over Tiva's stuttering reply with, "Good, glad that's settled. I'm off!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT! That's not a solution!" yelled Tiva, latching onto Carolyn's arm. Carolyn made a valiant effort of dragging the competition behind her, but to no avail. Tiva dug her heels into the lawn and refused to budge.

"We both have to have a fair deal! And since you have no good ideas, I guess I'll have to make up my own, huh?"

Carolyn pretended to ponder over this, then said, "No. I like mine just fine, thanks anyway." She then made another attempt to move. Tiva glared up at Carolyn, and with a voice laced with menace, said,

"If you don't agree to a fair deal then I will personally see to it that I step on those glasses."

Carolyn gave a gasp, then, "You wouldn't dare! Not the Glasses!!!"

"Yes. And I won't stop there. I have all sorts of things I can do to you if you refuse to comply!"

"I'll listen, I'll listen!" Carolyn finally gave in, then started muttering about what a two-faced, dirty, rotten scoundrel Tiva was.

Tiva smiled grimly. "It's good to know you have sense. Of course, since we're otaku, it's dubious if either of us have sense…That's beside the point. If we don't solve this, we'll be arguing throughout the entire fanfic, and anyone reading is going to get pretty bored of it."

"Let 'em deal with it. But anyways, how 'bout we both get an arm of Eagle's?"

"I'm game. You get the left half of him, I get the right, k?"

"K."

"Good." Tiva let go of Carolyn's arm, letting some circulation into the girl's purple hand. "Now we'd better get dressed. The party starts-" another watch check, "-in four minutes. Run!"

"I love that song! Eagle sings it!" shouted Carolyn as they sprinted across the turf.

"Same here! Ogata Megumi is the best V.A ever!"

They dashed back to their rooms in record time, changed in record time, and were standing at the doorway to the party hall with predatory expressions when Eagle rounded the corner. 

"Remember, I go for the left, you go for the right," muttered Carolyn out of the side of her mouth. "Now!" They made a mad dash and grab for their respective sides. 

Eagle was quietly walking down the hall with his advisors when the wind was knocked out of him with explosive force. He felt a small nagging sensation in the back of his mind, that he quickly dismissed. "Tiva, Carolyn! I didn't see you, so I thought you weren't coming! I'm glad you're here!" 

Tiva and Carolyn exchanged stunned looks. "What's with the attitude change?" whispered Carolyn. "He almost seemed to never want to see us the last time!"

"I don't know…"

Meanwhile, Lumira sat in front of her computer, studying the copy of A Day in the White House, parts one and two, and frowned thoughtfully. Yes, that was better. They'd love her for doing that to Eagle. Wait…that was strange. Words were scrolling across the screen without her typing… "This happ-"

"-ened before, when I first got pulled in." Lumira looked around, and became aware that all eyes were on her. She also became aware that she was sitting on the buffet table. Tiva and Carolyn dashed up, dragging a smiling Eagle behind them.

"What are you doing back here!?" demanded Carolyn puzzledly. Lumira brushed off a crepe and hopped down. 

"I really have no conceivable idea." She sighed, and absently took a hors d'oeuvres from one of the plates. "But while I'm here, I might as well enjoy my-"

"-self. Dang. Those finger sandwiches looked good." From another room of the house, Lumira's mother called "Time for bed!" As she brushed her teeth, Lumira grumbled to herself. "It's not fair…Tiva gets to go to a party, while _I_ have to get ready for bed." She rinsed her mouth out and went back to the computer to shut it down. As she saved the story, she became aware of a buzzing sound, and an automated voice. 

_"Warning. Improper safeguards installed. Initializing emergency procedure." _

 "What?"

There was a flash of light, then silence.

The murmur of conversations floated through the dinning room as various people milled around and made small talk. Tasuki was keeping as far away from the punch bowl as possible, remembering the last dinner's incident, and Geo and Lafarga were on totally opposite sides of the room. Abrupt silence fell, when there was a sharp 'smash' sound, and everyone turned to the origin of the noise. Tiva strained to see, then huffed in frustration. 

"Why do bishies have to be so tall? Eagle, give me a boost, will ya?" The surprisingly docile President cupped his hands, and the author stepped into them, swaying as he straightened, and ignoring the look of malice Carolyn was giving her. "It's from over by the doorway…uh oh." She jumped down. "Thanks, Eagle. Carolyn, we've got ourselves a problem."

"What's the big deal?"

"Eriol."

Carolyn groaned and shook her head. "Honestly, what does it take to kill someone like him?" 

Eagle looked down at the two girls. "I think I should go over and see what the problem is." All at once, the two girls were clamoring at him. 

"Oh, no, you don't want to do that, Mr. Prez, sir."

"Really bad idea, if I do say so."

"I don't understand…" The two authors dragged him into the corner of the room that was farthest from the door, and made motions for him to be quiet. 

"Eagle, sweetie, you really don't want to know who that is," said Tiva, looking worried. 

"If you had your laptop working, we could just make him disappear…" said Carolyn.

"I wish. But I left it in my room—" Both girls turned to each other simultaneously. 

"Oh no…"

Eriol surveyed the crowded room with a feeling of superiority. They all feared him…life was good. Heh. He held up the laptop and typed a few words in. Nothing happened. His confident expression began to fade. Then, he saw a figure that didn't fear him. He swallowed. 

Tomoyo stepped in front of him and glared up. 

"What do you think you're doing? The President organized this party to relax! We don't need you intruding!"

"Ah, my dear Tomoyo, I'm cut to the quick!" exclaimed Eriol, feigning a wound. The head of Security didn't look impressed. 

"You're coming with me," she said, taking hold of one of his arms. Eriol began to struggle, and suddenly found himself enveloped in the massive arms of Lafarga. The bury security guard simply lifted Eriol off his feet, and took him out of the room, setting the laptop on a handy table. There was a pause, then conversations resumed. Carolyn glanced around, then said 

"Coast's clear."

"I think we can get off him, then."

The authors had had to resort to sitting on top of Eagle to stop him from going into danger. However, Carolyn didn't seem to want to get off. 

"Come on, Carolyn!"

"No!"

Eagle grunted slightly as Carolyn clamped her knees tighter around his midsection. Tiva finally sighed and poked Carolyn's side in just the right spot. 

"Off!"

"Yeeek!"

The shorter author toppled off, and Eagle rose to his feet with the speed of a helium balloon. He straightened his tux, and glanced around the room. "Whatever that was, it's stopped now." He rocked as the authors latched onto his arms happily. "Are either of you thirsty?"

Yue looked over the assemblage and the returned his attention to Van, who was telling his commander how he captured his prisoner. 

"And then, Dilandau came in, got into his melef, and was about to high-tail it out, but Zazu rigged the melef to become one of his work 'bots, so all it did was fix cars. It was kind of funny, actually." Van cracked a rare grin, and Yue got as close to smiling as he ever did. They both spoke softly to each other, completely disregarding the fact that their feet weren't on the ground. In fact, both of them were sitting on the massive chandelier, which gave them an unparalleled view of the action below. They'd watched with interest when Eriol had come in, but hadn't intervened when they saw Lafarga moving to intercept. 

Now, they were munching quietly on a few snacks pilfered from the buffet tables. Yue had been experimenting with eating, and was at the moment, trying to remember how to chew. 

Van glanced down, then paused. "Who are they?"

Yue looked down as well, and frowned. "I've seen them with the President before. They're his special guests, I think." 

At that moment, there was a 'pop,' and a girl appeared sitting next to Van. She looked around, then looked down. "Crud! What am I doing up here?!" A finger sandwich fell out of Van's fingers, and Yue froze in mid bite. Lumira gave them both bemused looks. "Yue, I know, but I've never seen you befoooooooooooooore!" She lost her balance on the chandelier, and fell towards the unyielding floor. 

More accurately, towards the hapless Touya, whom was just unwinding enough to stop starting at loud noises. Lumira's dopplering voice caught his attention, and he stared up just in time to catch her as she fell. 

"Gah…thanks Touya." Tiva and Carolyn dragged Eagle over. 

"Lumira, what happened?" asked Carolyn.

"I don't know…I was turning off the computer when it said something about engaging safeties or something." Touya set her down, and she brushed herself off.

Tiva groaned, and muttered a curse word in French. "It looks like you're stuck here then."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"COOL!"

Both authors blinked as Lumira bounded over to the buffet tables. Then a voice from above called down.

"Touya, are you all right?" Yue peered over the edge of the chandelier with something close to concern on his face.

"Yeah, I think so." The VP rubbed his shoulders and offered a look of 'all-rightness.'

Tiva suddenly realized who was talking. "Y-Yue? All right!" She dashed over to one of the walls and began scaling a curtain. From there, she slid down one of the chandelier's support chains, and landed rather breathlessly next to the Air Force captain. "Yue, you don'tknowhowlongI'vewantedtomeetyou,becauseIthinkyouaresoooooooooocool!"

Down below, Carolyn grinned. Tiva was occupied with her favorite bish, and that left Eagle all to herself. From one of her pockets, she withdrew the sunglasses that Vash had given her, and put them on, grinning even wider than before. With the other author's attentions significantly diverted, she would never notice that Carolyn had smuggled the shades in. She laughed and dragged Eagle over to the punch bowl.

Lumira glanced around the room, then made a beeline for the snack table, and snatched a few tasty tidbits. As she munched, she heard a voice that could only belong to one person. Not many people could talk that fast without breathing for inordinate stretches of time. 

"OhEagle,youhavetheprettiesteyesandtheprettiestnose,andprettyears,andaveryverypretty

mouthsoKISSME!"

The President sweatdropped, and tried to move away a little, without being too rude.

"Carolyn!!!" Lumira stepped in the middle of the two "I hope you know that Tiva is about to kill Yue... I think that we should save him." At that time they heard a yelp from up above them.

"Yueeeeee!!"

Carolyn glared for a moment. "Why should I care? I've got my bish, she's got hers."

Lumira sighed. "Because, if we don't do SOMETHING, she's going to go to far and he's going to hate her! Not to mention that his ears might be severely damaged!"

"And I would care…why?"

The other girl sighed, and said, "Fine, I'll do it myself!" She stormed off towards the curtains, and began grumbling to herself. "Mega-Otaku…always in their own world…" She scaled the heights, and slid down to the chandelier. Yue was leaning away from Tiva, who was gazing at him with sparkly eyes, her hands clasped in adoration. Leaning over her friend, Lumira whispered, 

"Tiva, look over at the punch bowl."

Snapped out of her WAFFy reverie, Tiva blinked, then looked down. Her eyes widened, and she sat up straight. "That two-faced little sneak! CAROLYN!!!!!"

Carolyn shot ramrod straight after hearing the roar from above. "Eep…." She turned and sprinted, dragging Eagle away as well. 

Tiva almost fell off the chandelier. "CAROLYN!! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THOSE GLASSES?!" She whirled to Yue. "After them!" She grabbed his hand and drug the moon angel off the light fixture, forcing him to take fight.

Lumira sighed and started the climb down. "Don't mind me…grrrr…"

Carolyn looked around nervously as she heard the shouts behind her gaining. She ducked into an abandoned office, praying for sanctuary. 

The room was dark, and a strip of narrow light came in through the curtained window. Carolyn sagged with relief, then froze. She'd distinctly heard movement. And it wasn't the harried President, either, he seemed to have gone into shock a while back. A rustling sound drew her attention to the large desk. A chair swiveled, and revealed a figure cloaked in shadow. The figure spoke.

"What…are you doing in my office?"

"GAH! Um, um…hi? Sorry to bother you and all, but I'm kinda—"

"This area is off limits to everyone but the highest-ranking officials. You don't seem to understand that."

"But, I am a high-ranking person! Here's the President to prove it!" She pulled forward Eagle's comatose form. 

The person at the desk stood, looming over her. Something about his silhouette was familiar…

"Who are you?" she asked, backing slowly away.

The man lowered his head slightly, and then, in a lowered voice that was much scarier than if he'd spoken openly, murmured, 

"Legato. Legato Bluesummers."

Tiva and Yue flew quickly down the hall. Yue was trying hold onto her, but keep away, as she was snapping dangerously. A vein was throbbing on her head, and she looked ready to kill a certain rebellious author.   
"When I catch up to her I am going to make her listen to the dubbed Xellos for five hours!"

Meanwhile, Carolyn got a sudden chill along her spine that wasn't attributed to the fact she was in Legato's office…

As enraged as she was, Tiva felt that something suddenly had gone wrong. Forcing herself to cool down, she tried to pinpoint what it was. It was her fanfic, after all, and she had a certain knowledge of what went on. She looked around, then suddenly grabbed Yue's arm. "Stop!" His wings backed air, and he hovered. 

Tiva concentrated, and found what she was looking for. "That way!"

"That's a restricted section!"

"I don't care! GO!"

"So, uh, Mr. Legato, sir, how's it going? I apologize for barging in here like that, but I'm kinda running for my life and all, so if you could do me a BIIG favor and keep quiet, and/or zap anyone else who comes in here, I would be much obliged." This was followed by a winning smile, albeit, slightly nervous.

Legato stared down at her, then turned to the doorway, and said calmly, "Someone's coming."

"ACK! Don't let them in!" As she said this, the door burst open, and Tiva and Yue entered. Yue glanced around, his eyes coming to rest on Legato.

"I see you're up to your old tricks."

Legato gave him a smirk. "I can't really help it, Yue. It's what I do best."

Tiva and Carolyn gave them both blank looks, then Legato suddenly burst out laughing. 

"Such fun humans!" Catching Carolyn's betrayed look, he grinned evilly. "You really thought I'd help a human? Ahahahaa!" 

Now it was Carolyn's turn to become irate. "YOU STUPID EXCUSE FOR A MAN!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE AN ACTUAL ANIME BISHOUNEN! DIEEEEEEEEE!!"

She began to throttle him, heedless of the fact that he could kill her with a simple look.

Legato's eyes glowed, and Carolyn found that she suddenly couldn't move. The stupidity of what she'd just done hit her then, and she turned a worried, hopeful smile on him. 

"You wouldn't kill an innocent little girl, would you?"

"Of course I would."

"ERK."

"But I won't. After all, I am the chief of the secret department, and it would scare people if I showed my homicidal tendencies so soon after I'd been hired."

"Ah. I see. Thank goodness. I'll have you know that I'm still veeeery annoyed with you" With sheer willpower, she managed to weakly shake a fist at him.

"And I think you should know that I can reconsider my choice at any time, little girl. Now go. I have work to do." He released her, and sent them all flying out the door, which slammed shut and locked itself after them. 

Carolyn, upon landing remembered that she had a furious Tiva out to get her. Wasting no time, she sprinted away. 

Tiva got to her feet, and shook her head. "I can't believe her! She forgot Eagle!" Turning to Yue, she smiled sympathetically. "You should take him back to his room…I think he's had enough for one night. Oh, and alter his memories, would you? I wouldn't want to remember this…" 

Yue nodded, picked up the President, and flew off silently. Tiva turned her attention to the corridor down which her co-author had just sprinted. 

"Carolyn…this isn't finished yet!"

Carolyn realized with shock as she ran that she was missing an important person! She thought of returning for him, but was interrupted rudely by common sense. Her pace not slowing, she continued on, going faster as she heard faint yelling from down the long corridor.

Tiva stopped running suddenly, and a smile crept over her face. The hallway only had one exit…and she knew a shortcut. Sprinting off down a side way, she couldn't stop an evil chuckle. She knew just the dubbed Slayers episode she was going to make Carolyn watch…

Carolyn was reaching the light at the end of the tunnel, when she saw a suspicious silhouette blocking her way. She tried to slam on the brakes, but the slippery linoleum (the White House had a budget, after all) caused her to keep going, tumbling straight into Tiva's arms. 

"I knew it!" Tiva grabbed Carolyn in a vise-like grip. "You won't escape now." She smiled scarily. 

Carolyn had her panic face firmly set on as she desperately tried to attain freedom. Using whatever limbs necessary, she fought, bit, kicked, clawed, punched, yowled, and generally acted like a wild animal.

Tiva winced as a clawed hand raked over her face. "Are you done yet?! Honestly, you're worse than Inu-Yasha!"

"Darn tootin'! And no, I am not done, until I gain FREEEDOM!!!!" this was accompanied by a vicious kick.

"Fine. You want to go free, then go!" Tiva grabbed Carolyn around the waist, and slung her off the nearest balcony. There was a splash below.  Carolyn cackled merrily, after spluttering a bit, realizing there was a dazed Himura Kenshin staring at her. 

"Ora?" 

Tiva leaned over the balcony, snickering. She paused when she saw Himura. "Eh? That scar…Kenshin! I didn't think I included you! I don't really know enough about you…it must be Carolyn's fault."

"Actually, it was mine."

Tiva whirled to see Lumira leaning against a doorway, eating an appetizer. "Lumira! Where were you?"

Lumira rolled her eyes while stating, "You forgot me. AGAIN."

"Aaa. Sorry, Mira. Come here and see this! I was aiming her for the bushes, but she landed in the pond instead! Talk about needing to improve my aim…"

"Ok. You need to improve your aim. What else is there to talk about?"

Tiva slapped her forehead, thinking about her choices in friends. "Never mind, Mira, dear." She leaned over the railing, and called down to Carolyn. "So, how's the water?"

"Fine, but I much more enjoy the bite-sized samurai you threw me to! Thanks!"

"Do you ever think of anything but the bishies?"

"Nope. What else is there to think about?"

*crash* "Maybe the fact that you're wet, the temperature is currently 30 degrees out, and we still haven't found a way out of this fic." She did a double-take when she realized Carolyn wasn't listening at all. Instead, she was laying the charm on Himura.

"Oh, Kenshin-chan, I'm afraid I'm all wet!" The wily author climbed out of the ornamental pond, and sneezed. Kenshin looked at her with concern. He took off his kimono, exposing a wonderfully, muscularly sculpted, beautiful *****nosebleed* torso. He wrapped his garment around the shivering Carolyn, who looked like she'd just died and gone to heaven. *insert drool here*

Tiva rubbed her forehead tiredly, and vaulted over the railing down to the two, grumbling to herself. "Of all the insane people I had co-write this story with…" She walked up, and pulled a drooling Carolyn away from the slightly bewildered samurai. "Thanks for your help, I'll get your kimono back to you, 'k?" She drug the barely coherent co-author off. 

Lumira sighed. "Forgotten again," she muttered. "I guess I'd better help Kenshin." She clambered down a handy trellis, and walked over to Himura. "Here, take this. It might be a while before you get your kimono back." She handed him her coat, and since he was such a slender cutie, it fit him fine. At that moment she heard a faint wail from all fan-girls at having Kenshin cover himself. 

"Shut up, all of you!"

Tiva rolled her eyes at Carolyn as she pulled her friend along. "You really need to snap out of it, Carolyn-chan…" Carolyn, with hearts in her eyes, was clutching the kimono, and mumbling incoherently. With a long-suffering sigh, Tiva grunted, and slung Carolyn over her shoulder, trudging back to their room. Lumira met up with her halfway, and they exchanged glances of knowing. 

"She'll probably be fine after a sleep…and a cold shower."

"Yeah. But she's still heavy…"

Carolyn snapped out of her state long enough to shout "I'm a delicate creature, so don't break me or my fragile self-esteem!" Tiva and Lumira sweatdropped and turned to Carolyn, who had gone back into her comatose existence. 

"Here's our room, you can stay with us," said Tiva to Lumira.

"Thanks, yeah, I was wondering about that."

"Sure. Might be a little bit of a tight fit…oh good! Lafarga put my laptop back. I wish Word was back up…Then maybe I could get us out of here."

"I dunno, this is pretty fun!"

"Just wait until you have to spend a day with anime characters that would sooner kill you than look at you." Tiva dumped Carolyn on one of the two beds, and let out a sigh of relief. "Yeesh…I think all her fanboys in her head make her heavier."

"Can I sleep here?"

"Go ahead. I'll take the couch."

"Shouldn't Carolyn change out of her wet clothes?"

"Nah, I think her thoughts'll keep her plenty warm."

Carolyn let out a loud, "Daisuki!" then rolled over in her sleep. 

"See?"

"Unfortunately all too well…" 

Tiva and Lumira collapsed onto their bed and couch respectively at the same time, and let out long sighs.

"So, what are we doing tomorrow?"

"I really have no idea."


	4. The Third Day in the White House

A Third Day in the White House

Sunlight streamed through the window, making a beeline to land directly on Carolyn's eyes. Rudely awakened from her happy, happy dream, she was needless to say, not pleased. An un-earthly growl filled the room, awakening the other two with alarm. 

"Fire, Fire!" Lumira shouted groggily, while Tiva bellowed, 

"Argh! It's coming! The Great White Whale!"

Everyone sweatdropped. "Tiva, you've been reading Moby Dick, haven't you?" sighed Lumira. Tiva got sparkles in her eyes. 

"Actually, no, but in Star Trek, First Contact, there are several references to that—"

"Tiva, zip it."

"Fine."

 Carolyn let another growl escape, this time at the displeasure of being ignored. Both of the other two girls turned simultaneously to her, and raised an eyebrow. 

"Who. Left. The. Shade. OPEN???!!!"

"Carolyn, no one did. It's closed. The light is coming from a crack in the middle." Tiva stood up and stretched languidly, then went over to her laptop and turned it on. She clicked on Word, got the error message, sighed, and turned it off. "No good. We're still stuck here."

"As long as we're here, we might as well enjoy ourselves," commented Lumira. 

"I think I heard that there was going to be a school group coming today from one of the Prez's aides," contributed Carolyn. She fingered the kimono she was still wearing lovingly, and whispered to herself, "I'll never wash it." She inhaled the smell of it deeply, wanting to hold onto the scent. 

Lumira and Tiva traded looks. 

"Who wants to remember Essence of Samurai?" hissed Lumira.

"Her, mochiron," sighed Tiva.

Seeing Carolyn still snuggling the fabric, they both sweatdropped, especially as Carolyn began purring. 

"Carolyn…you can't wear that anyway," said Lumira. "It's a guy's kimono. People will give you funny looks."

"I'm used to that. And anyways, I always wear guys clothes/stuff." Saying this, she whipped out her Vash sunglasses. 

"Yeah, same here. Girl stuff doesn't have any good colors," commented Tiva. Then, seeing the glasses sparked a memory. "Chotto matte! You were wearing those at the party last night, when I explicitly told you not to!"

Carolyn let out a nervous chuckle. "Um, y'see, that, that…er…I wasn't wearing them at the banquet per say," Carolyn crossed her fingers behind her back. "I was wearing them when I was running because…for good luck! Yes, I wore them while running for good luck! So you wouldn't catch me. That's right."

"I'd say they didn't work, in that case. And did you forget the REASON I was chasing you?"

"We both needed the exercise?"

"Kami-sama…" Tiva rubbed her forehead. "I don't have time for this…I'm going to see Eagle about today's schedule. Feel free to come along…"

"I'm there!" And in truth, Carolyn was already halfway down the hall. Tiva lunged after her, and brought her down with a flying tackle. 

"What are you going to do to that poor man now?! Honestly, give him a break!"

"Nothing! I swear!"

"Like dragging him through the entire White House nothing?"

Carolyn was shocked. "I'd never do such a thing!..again…I'm going to be sure to bring him _outside_ before-oh crud. I gotta go!" She squirmed her way free and shot off towards the Oval office. Lumira came up just in time to see Tiva catch on fire.

"Yeep! Tiva, what gives?"

"That…that…PERSON! Yue!!! Where are you!?"

The winged bishonen appeared like magic, (well, it *was* magic) in front of her. 

"Yes?"

"Carolyn's at it again! Protect the President at all costs!"

"Shouldn't Tomoyo be doing that?"

"Yue! This is urgent!! Go! Wait, take me with you!"

They shot of, leaving a fuming Lumira. She looked around the now deserted hallway, and ground her teeth.   
"Time to call in some backup of my own!" She raised one hand into the air, and shouted,

"Lumira! Prism! POWER!"

There was a bright flash, then silence.

Tiva and Yue screamed into the Oval Office, to find Carolyn calmly sitting on Eagle's lap, chattering away to him. One eyebrow twitched on Yue's normally neutral face.

"This is why you needed me?"

"Yue, dear, look at them. Carolyn, President. Carolyn IN President's lap. There's a small matter of dignity involved as well."

"I can see that. But still…"

Carolyn turned to them with a sunny smile in place. "Tiva! Yue! Come in, come in! Tiva, why are you looking so gloomy?"

"Carolyn…never mind. Get off Eagle. I got the schedule from Yue."

"NO!"

"CAROLYN!!!!"

"What's the fuss now?"

Lumira floated in, dressed in a pale lavender Sailor Scout outfit with a sea green bow. Tiva's eyes nearly fell out. 

"Mira! Nani…?!"

"Just a little thing I put in for myself before I was drawn in. Do ya like it?" She twirled to display her attire.

Eagle smiled the smile of someone dancing on the razor edge of sanity. "Is there something I can help you ladies with?"

"Oh hohohoho yes, Eagle my love, you can!" chortled Carolyn. Tiva yanked her away by the ear, grumbling to herself murderously. Carolyn continued on, "Just sit there and look like the adorable, sweet, bishy you are!"

"DOWN girl," hissed Tiva. She nodded at Eagle as they left the room, ushered out by Yue. "Later, Prez."

Lumira spun in mid-air, laughing happily. "This is great! I knew what it would look like, of course, but…!"

There was a crackling in front of them, and a bright flash of light invaded their senses. When they could see again, there was yet another girl in front of them. Carolyn, Tiva, and Lumira promptly burst out laughing.

"Dweeb!"

"Dweeb, good to see you!"

"Ahahahahaha! Got torn away from Tito, did you? You poor thing…heeheeeheee…"

Dweeb stared around her with horror. "Where the heck am I? And what are you guys doing here? Lumira, what are you WEARING?!"

"Hee…Dweeb, welcome to our little pointless fanfic!" laughed Tiva.

"Where bishies rule the world!" yelled Carolyn.

"And the food is good too," said Lumira.

"AHHHHHH!" Dweeb promptly fainted. Yue caught her, giving her a strange look. 

"How many of you people are there?"

"Not that many really. We're a secluded bunch." Tiva shook her head at Dweeb. "But for her to be drug into this…I never even gave her a copy of the story! This fanfic has completely gone haywire. We should take her back to our room."

"Dump a bucket of ice over her head!" chirped Carolyn.

"I'm up!" shrieked Dweeb, bolting upright in Yue's arms. She gave him a long hard look, then shook her head. "Oh no. You're just a 2-D drawing, you aren't real!"

"I beg to differ," replied Yue, stiffening slightly. Tiva sent Dweeb a smug look.

"Hey, guys, isn't there a school group that's coming to take a tour of the White House?" asked Lumira. "We should go check it out."

"Yeah!" said Carolyn gleefully. Tiva grabbed Dweeb's hand and pulled her along with the rest of them.

"You can't stay alone here, Dweeb! You're coming with us!"

"Ah Nokoru-sama!" girls were sighing as the dashing young boy made his way across. His two aides were not forgotten, though, and had their share of admirers. Carolyn came bouncing up to the youngest one of the three, squealing. 

"Akira-kun! Awwwww!!! KAWAII!!!!!"

Tiva seemed to materialize next to Suoh. "Wai, Suoh-kun! It's wonderful to meet you!"

Lumira was left looking at Nokoru. He smiled brightly at her, and she melted into a puddle of gooeyness. "Kaichou…!"

Dweeb slowly backed away from everyone, and bumped into a person.

"Oh!" exclaimed the person. "I'm so sorry…wow! You're adorable!" Tomoyo grabbed Dweeb's hand. "I have the perfect costume for you! Come on and try it on!" She drug the hapless girl off, kicking and screaming.

"Tito! Save me!!"

There was another bright flash of light, and a teen stood before them, looking slightly dazed. Never the less, he seized the opportunity and struck a pose. "Never fear, my darling! For I, Terrible Tito, will save you!"

Tomoyo spoke into a small mike. "Security to the main entrance!" Like magic, (it probably was) Lafarga appeared, along with Lantis, Geo, and Van. They moved smoothly to surround the boy, looming over him as only the muscle-bound bishies of anime and manga could. 

"Isn't Geo Eagle's advisor? And isn't Van the second in command of the Air Force?" 

"And isn't Lantis the secretary?"

"Yeah, Lafarga's the only really security person here!"

The girls narrowed their eyes at the collection of men, then Tiva spoke in a low voice. "I believe we may have encountered the phenomenon known as a 'plot hole.'"

"Saa….oh well, they're cute, they can stay," stated Carolyn, hearts having replaced her eyes once again.

Lumira and Tiva both face-faulted.

Tito looked around nervously. "Erhem…it may be that today, Terrible Tito does NOT rescue…oh dear." He sprinted for the door as only a runner could, dashing outside in record time. An enraged Dweeb shouted after him, 

"You coward!! I'm never going to speak to you again!!!! AND YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT EVER KISSING ME, TOO!!!!" When threatening didn't seem to work, Dweeb slid off her clog and threw it at his retreating figure.

Just as the clog was whistling through the air, Tasuki stepped out of an adjoining door, in time to catch it square on the side of his head.

All three girls gasped and put their hands to their mouths.

Tasuki swayed, the steadied himself and shook his head. "Whoever threw that is gonna pay!" 

Carolyn, Tiva, and Lumira all pointed to Dweeb, as Dweeb shrunk slightly. 

"I hate women!" growled the Navy commander irritably. "Well, since you're a girl, I won't hit you. Even I have standards." He glared at the assemblage, daring them to disagree. 

Tiva gave him a 'v' sign. "You go, Tasuki!"

"But don't think this changes my feelin's or anythin'! I still HATE WOMEN!" He stormed off, sporting a bruise in a delicate shade of lavender on his cheek. 

Dweeb gave a shriek of rage as she was pulled away by a cheerfully smiling Tomoyo. 

"Don't worry, Dweeb! Tomoyo's cool!" called Lumira grinning widely.

 Eagle put his head carefully into his hands. The last two days had been hectic, and this one seemed to be picking up the trend. His head hurt…He looked up to see Clef standing in front of him, with a sympathetic smile. "It hasn't been easy, has it, sir?"

"Not really, no, Clef."

"Maybe you should take a holiday, sir."

"Yes, I think I have one coming. Touya can manage affairs while I'm gone."

"Shall I inform Zazu to prepare your car?"

"Oh, no, I can't leave now, Clef. To much to do at the moment."

Clef rolled his eyes inwardly. Of course. Eagle was always like that. Saying he needed a holiday, but letting his sense of duty obstruct him from taking one. Ah, well. It wasn't his place to force the President to leave. "Yes, sir." He left the room, shaking his head.

Eagle sat quite still for a moment, then sighed. 

A rustling noise caught his attention, and he raised his head, calling out. 

"Is someone there?"

There was no answer.

The white-haired president stood slowly, and went around his desk, his golden eyes narrowed slightly. He trusted his hearing, and it was telling him that there was someone near him, trying as hard as possible to keep quiet. Using every ounce of stealth he had, which was rather considerable, he slipped towards the doorway, and quickly stepped through it, whirling to look up and down the corridor. His eyes alighted upon a small figure crouched against one of the far walls. 

The figure raised its head and looked up at him, then smiled and raised a finger to its lips. Keeping his voice, low, Eagle asked the person,

"Who are you?"

The purple-haired man smiled winningly, and with the finger still in place, said, "Sore wa…himitsu desu." There was a pause, then he was gone.

Eagle stared at the empty space, then quietly went back into his office. His peace didn't last long, and he could tell that it would be short-lived by the clamoring voices outside his door. Tiva, Lumira, and Carolyn bounded in, and filled the room with their boisterous voices and high spirits. Carolyn plopped down on one side of him, Tiva dropped onto the other side, and Lumira perched herself on his desk. Eagle sighed and rested his head on the back of his chair. They weren't the sanest of people, but at least they were comforting. 

"Tiva, you're on the wrong side of Eagle! That's my side!"

"Sorry! Let's switch then."

"Oooo, he has bon-bons on his desk!"

"Wow, Eagle, your eyes are really pretty close up."

"Heck, they're pretty from a distance, too!"

"The wrappers are cool looking…these have to be really expensive."

"And look at this suit! Eagle, baby, you have great taste."

"Carolyn, less of the tender endearments, if you'd be so kind."

"Oh hohoho! I won't be so kind, thank you very much! Eagle, sweetie pie, darling, love of my life!"

*gaaaaag, choke, cough*

"Tiva! Are you all right?"

"Guhh…way too sappy…"

"Nyeh heheh!"

"Carolyn, that's not nice!"

"Who said I was a nice person?"

"Point, there, but still!"  
The girls bantered back and forth, for a moment forgetting that they were stuck in a bizarre haywire story. It was Lumira who noticed the President.

"Guys! Eagle's asleep!" she hissed, her eyes wide. Tiva and Carolyn turned, and their faces altered into identical expressions of adoration. 

"Oh. How. Absolutely. Adorable!" whispered Tiva.

"He looks sooo pretty…" sighed Carolyn.

"He must be really tired, what with Eriol, the prisoners, and everything in general," murmured Lumira. "But he is quite cute when he's asleep like that."

Eagle's head was lolled over to one side slightly, and his eyelids fluttered gently as he dreamed. 

"We can't just leave him in his chair, he'll get the biggest cramp," said Carolyn. "What should we do?"

"We could take him to his room…" Tiva trailed off, seeing their incredulous looks. "What? He's barely as tall as me, and even though he's really strong, he's probably doesn't weigh that much. We could do it."

"Without waking him up, though?" put in Lumira.

"Oh, that's easy!" said Carolyn. "Haven't you noticed that whenever we call someone nowadays, they come? Watch! Move Card!" She managed to shout, while keeping her voice low. Then she brandished her hands in front of her, like she was holding an invisible wand.

There was a flash that they were all coming to recognize, and the winged figure of the Move popped up in front of them. 

"All right!" whispered Tiva. "Move, use your powers to lift Eagle."

The Card glowed, then slipped into Eagle, who also glowed. The President then floated a few inches off his seat. 

"Lumira, you take his left side, Carolyn, take his right, and I'll steer. Let's get him to bed…Ooh! I know…Just in case, Sleep!" The fairy-like card appeared, and sprinkled her dust over Eagle's inert form. He gave a sigh, and slipped deeper into slumber.

"Good one," murmured Lumira.  The three girls slipped out of the room with their bish cargo. 

Dweeb sat up slowly and rubbed her head. Was it all just a dream?…no, she was definitely not in her room. There was a considerable lack of orange, for one thing.

Hazy memories floated across her brain. There had been an insane girl with long black hair that had raved over her, and she dimly recalled being forced into a dress that had altogether too many frills, bows, and lace. Then she had been posed by the insane girl, and had had a camera flashing in her face. 

"Oh, you're just perfect! I'm the head of Security, but I also run a fashion magazine! You're cover page material! Now, hold that pose…"

Dweeb shook her head vigorously. Somehow she'd manage to get loose, and had taken off down the hall. She remembered running into a dark side way, then falling asleep.

Footsteps alerted her to the presence of another person. She scrunched back into the shadows, hoping that it wasn't that camera girl.

Fuu walked slowly down the hall, running down her checklist. As the head organizer of the White House's guests, she was responsible for regulating the flow of people, so that the President wasn't flooded with visitors. 

She was just checking off the school group from the Clamp Campus, when she saw a slight movement out of the corner of her eye. She stopped walking, and turned to slowly approach the figure.

Dweeb bit her lip. It looked like she'd been spotted. Great. Now she could only hope that whoever it was wasn't that fast in the running department. 

Leaning over, Fuu tapped the figure on its shoulder. "Excuse me. Are you all right?"

Dweeb looked up cautiously. A friendly voice? "Are you going to force me into crazy outfits and put me through unimaginable torture?"

"Oh dear, I see you've met Tomoyo. Don't worry, I won't do anything of the sort. It's ok."

"Yeah, my friends said that and look how I ended up."

Fuu helped Dweeb to her feet, brushing her off. "You look like you could use some rest. I know…there's some guest quarters that are open. You can stay there, and get some sleep."

"That'd be nice…"

"Alright then, lets go. You'll be fine after you've had some rest."

Fuu guided Dweeb down the hall to the guest room, and opened the door for her. Dweeb entered, and looked around. "Hey, this is pretty cool! There's even a laptop!"

In another room on the other side of the White House, the three girls had managed to get Eagle back to his bed without attracting too many strange looks. Tucking him in, they surveyed their handiwork proudly.

"Still sleeping like a log," smiled Carolyn.

"Yeah, that was pretty nifty work," said Lumira.

Tiva went and closed the curtains, throwing the room into darkness. "We'd better leave so we don't disturb him."

"And tell someone where he is, otherwise there'll be a panic over a missing Prez," said Carolyn. "I think I'll just keep him company…"

"Oh no you don't." Tiva grabbed Carolyn's arm for what seemed like the hundredth time that day and drug the girl off. "Lets go back to our room."

The three girls exited the chambers, accosted Touya briefly in the hallway to tell him about the President, then continued to their room.

Opening the door, they found Dweeb, sitting at Tiva's laptop, typing something. 

"Dweeb! What the heck are you doing to my computer?!" demanded Tiva, sprinting across the room. As the other two came up, Carolyn's jaw dropped. 

"Is she…?"

Dweeb looked up at the flabbergasted girls. "Oh, hey guys. I'm not forgiving you for letting that demonic camera person take me prisoner. But some nice girl led me here, and since I had a copy of my story I'm working on with me, I thought I'd work on it…Why are you looking at me like that?"

"She's…in Word…" whispered Carolyn, Tiva, and Lumira at the same time. They all leaped for the laptop at the same time. Dweeb pulled it away. 

"Hey, hands off! This is mine!"

"No it's not!" yelped Tiva. "Look in the saved file!"   

Dweeb clicked it open, and rolled her eyes. "All right, you've convinced me. I would never save fanfics of Yue on MY computer. Take it!" She saved her story, took out her disk, and slipped out of the chair.

Tiva sprang into the space that had just been vacated, cracking her knuckles. "Yossha, let's get ourselves out of this fic!" She began typing vigorously, but nothing happened. Then an error message came up. 

"It says we have to go to the place we were when we entered the fic," said Carolyn. "I guess that means we're splitting up."

"How's that going to work?" asked Lumira. "Dweeb and I came in at different places!"

There was a moment of silence as everyone digested this. 

"If we're all in the same place, we'll reappear in the same place. I think I know how to work with that…" Tiva frowned. "In any case, we need to go back to the entrance of the White House. That's where we first appeared—with the tour group."

"Let's go!"

The four of them split, Tiva typing as she ran, with Lumira supporting the laptop. When they got to the big doors, they found an obstacle blocking their path. Namely, the enormous bulk of Lafarga.

"You can't pass. There's been an accident."

"His pulse is weakening."

"Get him on the respirator!"

"I need a complete summary, stat!"

The four girls stood motionless in the corner of the room. 

"How did this happen? I though the story was back under our control!"

"It was! I don't see how this could be!"

"Could someone please tell me who it is that's in critical condition?"

Three heads turned to Dweeb.

"It's…" Carolyn sniffed.

"…Duo…" whispered Tiva, clutching her laptop.

"Two?"

"No! Duo Maxwell! He's from Gundam Wing." Carolyn sniffed again, and sighed. "According to Lantis, he was touching up the paint on the front of the White House, and his harness was cut by someone."

Lumira's eyes widened. "Then someone _tried_ to kill him?"

"That's the way it seems, yes."

"But that's terrible!"

"Yeah…" said Carolyn. "Yeah, it is."

"There should be something you guys can do about it," said Dweeb. "After all, you ARE the authors."

"Yeah!" exclaimed Lumira. "What can we do?"

Tiva frowned slowly, and looked down at the computer. "I'm pretty sure that the person who tried to murder Duo is a leftover glitch on the program. We have to find it. And…I think I know how…"

"HOW?" demanded Lumira and Carolyn at the same time.

"It's another thing that I keyed into the story. I wasn't able to get at it sooner because our fic was offline. It's Author Power. Let's see here…Lumira has Sailor Moon already. So I'll have Cardcaptor Sakura, Carolyn, you can have Magic Knight Rayearth, and Dweeb…"

"Ho no, you're not getting me into this!"

"You can't go home then. Because we're all doing it."

Dweeb glared, then sighed resignedly. "Fine. Just don't do anything stupid to me."

"Good. Dweeb can do Aa! Megami-sama! then."

"What the—" But Dweeb's startled exclamation was cut off when Tiva raised her hand into the air. 

"Everyone, fists up! Author Power Activate!"

A cascade of light filled the room. Everyone else, however, didn't notice, due to a convenient plot hole. 

When the glow faded, all the girls, save Lumira, who already had transformed, were wearing different clothes. Dweeb had on the loose, easy garments of a goddess, similar to Belldandy's. Carolyn had very niftily styled armor that was a little bit different from that of the Magic Knights. Tiva was wearing vaguely Chinese-ish clothing, and sported a pair of huge sea-green tinged wings. 

"It's not fair!" exclaimed Lumira. "I want the power of CCS!"

"Alright!" crowed Carolyn, twisting to get a good look at herself. "This is great!"

Dweeb looked down. "NOW what am I wearing?!"

"It's the outfit of a goddess."

"Honored, I'm sure."

"Come on everyone!" said Lumira. "Let's go catch us a crook!"

The four dashed grimly out of the room.

In the shadows a person stood, watching. He smiled.

"Things are getting…interesting."

"How are we going to find this person?"

"With the story. I can read it and find out."

"What?"

"It's complicated. But I think I know what Tiva's talking about."

"Here, hold this, will you?"

"Why me?"

"Because you don't have a clue as to what's going on, and I need you to hold my laptop now!"

"Fine. *grumble, grumble*"

Carolyn scrolled down the page, her eyes scanning the words. Lumira leaned over, frowning. "You never wrote that…"

"I know. The story seemed to be back to normal, but I guess it isn't."

Dweeb scowled as she supported the computer. "Why don't we just leave now and close the story?"

"Because." Carolyn, Lumira and Tiva all struck a pose. "We must find who is doing this and bring them to justice!"

Dweeb sweatdropped, and sighed. "Otakus…"

A yell interrupted the fours' oh-so-clever conversation. 

"That was coming from the garage!" shouted Lumira as they dashed towards the sound. 

The four self-proclaimed avengers appeared on the scene of the crime, to see a perfectly healthy Zazu, his hands clapped over his cheeks, tears running down his face.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"Guess this is who was screaming," Carolyn observed.

"Guess so," said Lumira, staring. "But all that fuss! He sounds like a three year-old!"

"Well, let's see why!"

They walked over to him, and from where he stood, the problem became apparent. Zazu was facing the garage, looking into it. Primarily, at the dented, scratched, lacerated, and generally mangled remains of his precious cars. Carolyn nodded sagely, 

"Ah. That would qualify as an emergency for Zazu-kun."

"Yeeeaaah," said Tiva, looking around. "It seems to be a hit-and-run scenario…I don't see anyone but us and him here."

"Weeelll…there are the cars, but even if they were alive to begin with, they're pretty dead now." Lumira noted, a wee bit too loud, prompting Zazu to wail even louder.

Dweeb sighed. "Can we at least close the doors or shut him up somehow? He's got really good lungs."

"Yeah, you'd know, wouldn't you…being a trumpet player." Tiva nudged Dweeb pointedly. "You can be rather loud yourself."

While Dweeb glared at Tiva, Lumira absent-mindedly stuffed a spare sock (don't ask) into Zazu's mouth, and readied another one for Dweeb, just in case.

Carolyn, in the mean time, wandered nonchalantly over to the damaged vehicles, and prowled around them for clues. 

"Guys?"

The three other girls had entered a rather heated bickering match, as Lumira had thrust the other sock into Dweeb's mouth, and was now hovering just above the outraged girl's reach, sticking her tongue out, and Tiva was alternately encouraging them and trying to get them to stop. They all ignored Carolyn.

"Guys? Oh guys…HEY!!"

Three heads turned.

"Thank you. I think you might want to take a look at this…but I totally understand if you don't want to know who the culprit is—"

A blur whizzed past her as Zazu dashed up, and tried to snatch the piece of paper out of her hand. Another blur marked the passage of Tiva, who pushed him down, and calmly took the paper. 

"It says, 'AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH! You won't be able to stop me. No one can.' That's a challenge if I ever heard one. 'If you get in my way, I'll kill you all.' My, that's pleasant. Signed, 'Yours truly, Fuuma Monou. P.S. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!'"

"Hmm…three guesses as to who it is…"

Zazu, meanwhile, had the flames of vengeance burning brightly behind him. Everyone sweatdropped and slowly backed away. "Kono…"

"Uh-oh, he's reverting to Japanese…" whispered Tiva.

"Kono…kono…BAKAYAROU!!!!"

Four identical blinks, only two of them comprehensive. Carolyn slowly raised her hand to her mouth, eyes wide. "Zazu has ruined my innocence!" she whispered, aghast.

"Like you had any to begin with…" muttered Tiva darkly. "The girl who knows every single Japanese word that can be used in a dirty context…"

"Ouch, Tiva-chan. That hurt," Carolyn said, eyes betraying her "hurt."

"I'll bet."

"Look, this is all very fascinating, but while we're talking, this 'Fuuma' character is probably wreaking havoc in another corner of the fanfic," pointed out Dweeb acidly. "And while I could care less what happens here, I think you guys have a more personal interest."

"ACK! Sou da! Lets get crackin'!"

Eagle slowly opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings. The last thing he remembered was being in his office…but the pattern of cracks on the ceiling was different here…He was in his bedroom.

Sitting upright, he winced and remembered why it wasn't a good idea to sleep in a starched suit…the cloth was board-stiff along his back.

A shadow in the corner of the room drew his attention. The shadow stepped forward, revealing itself as a man that looked remarkably like Touya, or Lantis. 

"So you're awake."

"How did you get in here?"

The man shrugged. "The window. It wasn't that hard, really."

Eagle raised an eyebrow. "That's a rather athletic feat."

"Yes. The greased buttresses were a nice touch."

"Apparently not good enough."

The man smiled slowly. "No. Not good enough."

The heroically bedecked foursome stood in the entrance hall of the White House, debating what to do next. 

"What if he's after someone in particular?" asked Dweeb. "Maybe all this stuff is just a ploy to throw us off."

"Is he after the president, maybe?" commented Lumira. "He _is_ the most important person in this fic."

"Nah, he's got a ton of guards," said Carolyn dismissively. "There's no way anyone could get to him."

"This _is_ Fuuma we're talking about, but still, I think Carolyn's right," said Tiva. 

"But he _does_ hold the highest position in the country," pointed out Lumira persistently. 

"Just check the laptop!" Dweeb rolled her eyes. "If you're so worried, look and find out!"

"Er," said Carolyn. 

"Right," said Tiva.

"You'll see," said Lumira.

The laptop was opened, and a few clicks later, it was nearly dropped.

"BUT HOW?!"

"WHAT? You can't keep us in the dark, you know!" Dweeb bounced up on her toes, trying to see the laptop screen.

Lumira pulled the compact computer out of Tiva's hands, scanned the screen, then exclaimed "I knew it! That Fuuma person abducted Eagle! See?"

Carolyn went pale and sank to her knees. "My love…in the hands of that sadist…!"

"Carolyn, snap out of it!" shouted Tiva. "And try to think!"

"Why should I? I _do_ love him!" wailed Carolyn.

"So think of a way to save your," Lumira paused, working her mouth around the word, "'love.'"

Dweeb stared at Carolyn. "Carolyn, you really need to get a life. You love 2-D pictures for goodness sake!"

"Yes, but you already knew that, Dweeb."

"I'm just making a point. One you don't seem to get!"

"Guys, we really need to think of something!" Tiva interrupted.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and fell silent, in some cases, uncharacteristically so.

It was, surprisingly, Dweeb, that came up with something first. 

"If this Fuuma is like a normal villain, then he'll want to boast and brag about his triumph, right?"

"So," said Carolyn, boarding the train of thought, "we need to lure him out into the open. Give him a chance to gloat."

The four girls faced each other, identical smiles appearing. 

"All right, we got ourselves a battle plan!" crowed Tiva, a truly evil smile in place on her face. 

"Yeah!"

"We can build traps through the laptop!" suggested Dweeb. "I've got a great one!"

"Fine, here." Tiva handed the laptop to Dweeb, who typed with a scary look on her face. 

Before the girls could react, the very trap that Dweeb was setting appeared beneath her. She fell into it with a shout of, 

"That's not supposed to happen…!"

In the center of the hole was a large, squarish looking construct. Lumira leaned over the edge and raised her eyebrows. 

"Man, that's the worst case of writer's block _I've_ ever seen!" 

Dweeb looked up and sent the other girl a glare. "You can just shut up."

Carolyn sighed. "Well, I guess traps don't work."

Tiva nodded as she lifted Dweeb out. "I guess that the computer virus is making it so that we can't set anything like that."

Lumira poked her head up over the knot of girls. "Why don't we go to the most obvious place?"

"Right. Eagle's bedroom!"

"Duh!"

The door slowly creaked open, shedding light from the hallway onto the darkened interior. 

"Spooky…" murmured Carolyn.

Tiva hit the lights, and all the girls took a step back.

"Nooooooooooooooo!" wailed Lumira.

"It can't be!" gasped Tiva.

"What? What?" demanded Carolyn and Dweeb.

Tiva and Lumira began darting through the room.

"Look at this! An 18th century rocker! And it's been knocked over onto its side!" Lumira set it lovingly upright.

"Look at the bed! The clothes scattered all over! What a mess!" moaned Tiva.

"Yeah? So? My room looks like this a lot," said Dweeb, stepping over a mound of blankets.

Carolyn stepped into the room as well, and saw a large bookcase over by the window. It had been knocked over onto its side, and books were strewn all over. Her eyes went wide. "All...those…books…"

She went onto her knees and began cradling them. Tiva was heaving the four-poster bed off its side, and Lumira was carefully going through the room and tending to all the antique articles she could find. 

Dweeb wandered aimlessly around the room, then walked over to the bookcase. What Carolyn had failed to notice was that the bookcase sported ten small gashed along its side, much like what would be left if someone had been clinging to it, and then had been yanked off. 

Leaning out the window, she saw a piece of white, fluttering in the wind. She stretched out to get it, but it was too far away. Grimly, she set her jaw. 

"Let's see if this author power stuff really works. _Divide and conquer!"_ Five or six mini Dweebs dashed out along the window ledge, grabbed the note, and carried it back to the room, where they reformed into one big Dweeb, who was now holding the note. 

She unfolded it, and read it, her lips moving slightly. Then she refolded it, tucked it away, and sauntered towards the middle of the room. Taking a deep breath, she put her trumpet lungs to full use.

"EVERYBODY CUT IT OUT AND LISTEN UP!"

The other three girls blinked themselves out of their trances, and glanced over at her. 

 "I have here a note that I got from the window while you goofballs were dinking around. So I get to read it." She unfolded it, glanced around to make sure she had their attention, (which she did) and read.

"'To the oh so persistent foursome that keeps tracking me around the White House. I have been watching your actions with great interest, but I think it's time I draw this to a close. I know that you are responsible for this world coming into being. If you don't come down to the gardens at sunset, I will kill Eagle. Yours, Fuuma Monou.'"

"Great. The villain always picks the most dramatic moment." Tiva sighed.

"So much for our plan to lure him out," mumbled Carolyn.

"All we can do is wait then," said Tiva. "If Fuuma doesn't want to be found, he won't be. Count on it."

"Yeah," agreed Carolyn, nodding sagely. "He's a nasty person!"

Lumira set a Ming vase upright. "Well, what do we do in the mean time?"

And so the hours progressed. The girls kept themselves amused by straightening up Eagle's bedroom, then going through his comic collection. He had a quite substantial amount of them. Most had been stashed under his bed, but what with the entire frame being tipped over on its side, the collection had been revealed. Dweeb shook the lint off the cover of a Batman and Robin issue.

"You'd think that he'd have a ton of…whaddayacallit…manga lying around, wouldn't you? Him being a Japanese creation and all."

"All that's over here," said Carolyn, gesturing to the bookcase. "He's got all the Rayearth manga, Japanese and English. In fact," she gave the shelves a closer look, "he's got everything that CLAMP's done!"

Tito wandered forlornly around the shrubbery of the White House grounds. Who the heck were these people?! He'd just seen a kid pulling a sock out of his mouth, and a blue haired midget running after a flying fish. He sighed, and rounded the corner of the building. 

Vash stepped from flowerbed to flowerbed, watering each plant carefully. He hummed softly as he sprinkled a pansy lightly. He watched the drops of water glisten, then turned the corner, and someone ran straight into him.

"Mmmmfph!" 

Vash looked down at the teenaged boy that had run into him, who came up to about his chin. Muffled, from around Vash's collar region, came the boy's voice.

"Hello. Who are you? How are you? And where did the light go?"

Vash took a step back, and the boy blinked. 

"Oh." His eyes widened. "Who the heck…! Where am I? How can I help my pookikins?!" he pleaded, blinking in the sunlight.

Vash smiled, going into clueless OHS (Overly Happy Syndrome) mode. "I don't know who this Pookikins is, but I'll try to help you!"

Tito looked up. His eyes followed the hypnotic swaying of a few loose yellow hairs in the wind. He nearly fell over.

Meanwhile, the sun begins to set on our four young heroines…

…

…

…

…whom are still reading comics in Eagle's room. 

"Give me that! I want that book!"

"But you already read it! Heck, you own it!"

"I still want to read it! Give!"

Lumira and Tiva struggled over a Cardcaptor Sakura manga. Dweeb was reading a Catwoman comic. Carolyn flipped through a Wish manga, then looked up. The color drained from her face.

"GUYS!!!!!!!!"

"What now, Carolyn?" demanded Lumira and Tiva, freezing in mid-scuffle, and making Dweeb jump.

"The sun…it's going down! We gotta move fast!"

"But we don't know where to go," pointed out Dweeb from the bed, where she hadn't moved. "The note just said 'the garden'"

"I think he'll find us," replied Carolyn grimly. 

Tiva pulled Dweeb off the bed amidst protests, and half dragged the resisting girl to the door. Dweeb promptly made use of her powers, dissolved into five or six mini-Dweebs, and escaped out the window.

"We should stick together!" said Lumira. 

"After the pixie Dweebs!" yelled Tiva, squeezing her wings through the window and diving after the tiny retreating forms. Carolyn shinnied down the wall and Lumira flew close behind her. The four, (or maybe eight or nine at the moment) girls dashed across the White House lawn.

"Wait! Umm…" Carolyn sighed, then used a levitation spell to catch up with the others.

She nearly ran into Lumira, since the other girl had stopped abruptly. She peered around and her eyes locked onto what all the others were looking at.

It was Fuuma. He was standing in the deepening shadows of the evening.

"Don't kill my love!" cried Carolyn tearfully.

"GET A LIFE!" Dweeb yelled at her.

"Ah, so our heroines fight…don't they?" said Fuuma, smirking.

"Shutupyouguys!" hissed Tiva, not taking her eyes off the man in the shadows. "Where's Eagle?"

"Yeah!" said Lumira. "We came like you demanded!"

In reply, Fuuma pulled Eagle out from behind a bush, and in front of him. One hand gripped the pale, slender neck, and the other arm wrapped around the shorter man's midsection.

"What should I do to him?" he asked, a smile playing around his lips. "Should I break his neck? Or I could crush his ribs?" His eyes glittered in the fading light. 

"You promised not to kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~l him!" shrieked Carolyn"

"I lied."

Suddenly, Fuuma stiffened, his eyes going wide. One hand tightened convulsively on the president's neck, and Eagle gave a choked gasp. Then, he dropped the white-haired man, falling to his knees. 

Lantis stood behind him, a prescription needle in his hands. It was empty. 

"You," he said, "do _not_ have an appointment."

Suddenly in the middle of everything, a loud noise came from the gardens. "POOKIKINS!!!!!!"

The six or so mini-Dweebs raised their eyebrows in concert. "What's he doing here?"

Tiva doubled over laughing. "Look who's with him!" 

Vash gave everyone a big smile and waved slightly. 

"Not again," Lumira sighed as Tito dashed towards his multiple pookikins.

Carolyn was sneaking slowly towards the unconscious Eagle when Fuuma noticed her. 

"Stop, you! Or I'll kill him!"

Carolyn waved a finger admonishingly. "Naughty, naughty, naughty. You just try it!" She stuck out her tongue and cuddled the limp President. 

Fuuma tried to move, but the dosage that Lantis had given him had paralyzed him from the neck down. 

"I'll destroy this world! I know you all created it! If I kill you, I can destroy everything!" He jerked his head around in a futile attempt to get to them. Dweeb rolled her eyes, and turned her backs. Lumira floated over him, leaned over, and smirked. 

"Nice try, manga guy."

"Ooh! He's an anime guy too!" chipped in Carolyn. 

"Yeah, and a bish, even if he is a major bad guy," added Tiva, grinning. She engaged Vash in a heated conversation over his gun skills. 

Dweeb went over to Tiva, scaled one of her wings, grabbed the laptop, and was down and away before the other girl could react. 

"What are you doing?" she demanded, running after her chibi friends. 

"I want to go home!! You caught the bad guy, the president's safe, there's nothing else left to do!" Dweeb set down the laptop, and with a 'pop' returned back to her normal size and number. 

"Fine! But everyone needs to be in one place…" Tiva trailed off as she watched Carolyn snuggling up to Eagle, and Lumira taunting an enraged Fuuma.

"Is that even going to be possible…?" asked Dweeb staring at the other girls as well.

"It quite possibly is…" Tiva started to talk very complexly. 

"What she is trying to say is; not really, with the group of people we have," explained Tito to Dweeb.

"I know that!"

Lumira had gotten bored with taunting Fuuma, since the paralyzing agent had started to work on his mouth, and floated over to the still snuggling Carolyn. "Yo." She tapped the other girl on the shoulder.

Carolyn started. "Who? What? When? Where? How? Why?"

"Me, I'm tapping you, right now, in the White House grounds, by our fanfic, I don't know why," answered Lumira.

"Attention all!" Tiva shouted. No one seemed to care, and instead kept on talking, off in their own worlds. "Hey!" Tiva ran up to Carolyn and Lumira and gave them both a smack across the head. "HeLLO!"

"What do you want?" demanded Carolyn in a menacing tone. Lumira began plucking Tiva's wings, annoyed at being hit. 

"I need everyone-ow!- to get togeth-ow!-to get together so that –ow!-we can go home! Stop that, Lumira!!"

Dweeb's voice echoed across the lawn. "Are we going back or what?" Around the girls, bushes popped up and disappeared. A very confused squirrel found its tree suddenly gone from underneath it. It fell with a startled 'squeak'

Shaking her wings furiously in an attempt to dislodge Lumira's persistent pulling, Tiva flew unsteadily to Dweeb and pulled the laptop away. "Dweeb, stop messing with the fic!"

Lumira pulled out a particularly large feather with an evil smile.

"Stop that!" 

Meanwhile, Carolyn was still cuddling Eagle blissfully when she was suddenly lifted bodily off the President. She found herself eye to eye with Lantis. "You don't have an appointment either. Go to your friends." He set her down and gave her a push in the other girls' direction, then turned to tend to Eagle.

"But I'm your guest!" she whined to him. Her words met his turned back. With a sigh, she grumbled off to the other three.

Dweeb was enjoying a rather interesting show. Lumira was persistently yanking feathers out of Tiva's wings, but they kept growing back. The result was a drift of plucked feathers around both girls, and Tiva's furious attempts to scrape Lumira off by means of the nearest trees and bushes. 

Deep in the dungeons, Knives picked moodily at a crack in the wall. Rei was reading a book, and paid him no heed. 

He glanced up at Dilandau and Sessho-Maru. "You guys are really starting to annoy me. All you do is sit there!"

"Like you're doing anything different," muttered Sessho-Maru venomously. 

Dilandau chucked a rock from hand to hand, then got a gleam in his eyes. "I know!" He threw the rock as hard as he could. Rei looked up as it whizzed past her head, but she was too late. It struck the fire alarm, and set it off. A siren blared throughout the White House.

"Do you hear something?" asked Carolyn?

"Yeah, sort of like a siren…" said Tiva.

They started to move towards the White House, listening intently.

Suddenly, the main doors burst open, and a stream of people poured out, some of them screaming. 

"What the heck!" yelled Dweeb.

"Retreat! Back to Eagle!" shouted Lumira.

A person broke from the throng of panicked people and ran towards them. It was Touya, looking frazzled. He ran up to the President and Lantis, and demanded, "Is he ok?"

Lantis nodded, and Touya picked up the still unconscious Eagle. Turning, he was confronted with the four girls.

"What's-"

"-going-"

"-on-"

"-here?!" they all asked at once. 

"The fire alarm went off. No one knows where the fire might be, or who set it off, though."

"Hmmm."

Dweeb leaned close to Tiva. "We're going home, remember? No more fooling around with the story."

Carolyn sighed. "We really should try to get home…" She looked down sadly. 

Lumira nodded emphatically. "Yes. Back to where things are sane."

"Aw, Mira, I thought you liked it here!" pouted Tiva.

"I think I like reality better."

"Spoilsport."

"Come on you guys. Sometime this year if you can." Dweeb pulled Tiva to the front doors, nudging and kicking her way through the throng of people, leaving throbbing shins in her wake. They managed to make it up to the steps, where Carolyn and Tiva had first entered the fic, three days ago. Tiva opened her laptop, and was typing in the key sentence to get them out when Eagle approached them, supported by Touya.

"You're leaving, aren't you." It was more of a statement, than a question.

"Yeah, some people think that we need to go back," said Carolyn, darkly. 

Tiva set down the laptop, and darted into the crowd. The other three girls watched her go in startled silence. Lumira broke it not so tactfully.

"Tiva where the heck do you think you're going?!"

Birdsong in the distance.

"Fine then, don't answer me!" Just then, Tiva ran back up the stairs, clutching something tightly.

"Whatcha got there?" asked Carolyn curiously. 

Tiva grinned. She opened her hand to show an earring, silver with an inset stone of dark purple. 

"Oh, you didn't."

"Did."

"What is it?" demanded Dweeb, studying the piece of jewelry puzzledly.

"Yue's earring," said Tiva, grinning from ear to ear.

"Score!" Carolyn exchanged hi-fives with her. 

Dweeb looked around boredly, then blinked. "Where'd Lumira go?"

Said person was, at the moment, saying goodbye to the CLAMP schoolboys that had magically reappeared. Nokoru said something to her, then whisked a fan out of thin air and presented it to her with a charming smile. She took it, and for a moment, a truly fangirlish look sped across her face. Then she thanked him and rejoined the others. Tiva nudged her.

"You've got a dreamy look on you face…"

"I do not!"

Carolyn nodded solemnly. "You soon will become one of us, young disciple."

"Shut up! I will never join you!" 

"You're weakening…" teased Tiva mercilessly. 

Lumira sniffed haughtily and turned her back.

"Anytime would be good, Tiva," prompted Dweeb. Tiva nodded, and began to key in the sentence again. She stopped in the middle of it, causing Dweeb and Lumira crash to the ground in a graceless heap. 

"Now what?"

"I just remembered! I need to return Himura's kimono!"

"No!" shrieked Carolyn, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. "I won't let you take it!"

"But I promised to give it back!"

"I don't care what you promised!" Carolyn suddenly saw Kenshin standing in front of her. He hadn't heard the exchange, and smiled up at her innocently. 

"I'm glad you didn't catch a cold from falling into the pond!"

"Ahhhhhhh…" Carolyn promptly turned into a gooey mass of fangirlism,  

 Tiva immediately keyed a few words into her computer, and everyone reverted to the clothes they'd been wearing when they'd first entered the fic. The disputed kimono appeared in Tiva's hands, and she gave it to Kenshin quickly, then straightened and began typing quickly before Carolyn had a chance to snap out of her trance.

Tito, whom had tagged along with the girls, hanging in the background, peered over her shoulder. She glared at him, and he shrank back quickly.

"Just looking, that's all…"

"Look elsewhere." She hunched her shoulders, excluding him from her private universe. Dweeb sighed and rolled her eyes. She was about to knock some politeness into Tiva when a person tugged on her hand. She turned, and all the color left her face. 

Tomoyo smiled. "I want you to have this! You were so good, I just couldn't let you leave without it!" She pushed a large envelope into the girl's limp hand, smiled again, and slipped away.

Lumira snapped her fingers in front of Dweeb's face, and got no response. "Out like a light."

Tiva typed franticly. "Got to get out before Carolyn wakes up…! There!" A swirling vortex appeared above the four girls and Tito, and began to pull them up. Just then, Carolyn snapped out of bish mode and grabbed for the kimono. 

"Wah! Miiiiine!" She grabbed a handful of it and refused to let go. Seeing that Kenshin was being pulled up into the vortex with them, Tiva quickly poked Carolyn. Instead of the desired effect, which was to make her let go, Carolyn instead pulled harder. 

There was a tearing sound.

The four girls spiraled up into the darkness. Just before they disappeared, Tiva yelled, 

"There is no fire! The prisoners set it off!"

Then a 'pop,' and they were gone. 

Kenshin looked down at his kimono puzzledly, and held it up. A medium-sized hole had appeared, right at the stomach region. 

"Ora…?"

A bright light flashed, and when it faded, the four girls and Tito were piled in a heap on the floor of Tiva's bedroom.

"Ow! You're sitting on my head! YOU'RE SITTING ON MY HEAD!"

"Whoever has their foot in my face is going to die a slow and painful death unless they remove it."

"Er, could whoever it is please get off my arm? I can't feel it…"

"Whose arm are we talking about here? Oh, it's Tito's. Someone get off Tito's arm, please."

"Only if he takes his elbow out of my gut."

There was an uncomfortable interval as everyone sorted themselves out from their neighbors. 

"Yeesh," muttered Lumira, rubbing her head. "That wasn't fun. I liked it better when I went in alone."

"No kidding," said Dweeb, sitting tiredly down on the floor and fiddling with a marble. 

Tito shifted nervously. "Um. How am I going to get home?"

"Oh, that's where the fanfic comes in," said Tiva dismissively. "All you need to do is to go back into it, then I write that you leave the fic and appear back in your own house. Simple." She stretched, nearly braining Lumira. 

"Wait a minute. You want to send me _back_ into that story?!"

"Yep. You and Lumira."

"Oh."

"Come on, don't be a baby," said Carolyn, pushing him towards the laptop. "You'll be fine, honest!"

"You too, Mira," said Tiva. Lumira nodded, and waved slightly. 

"See you all later!" Tiva typed in the activation code, and leaned aside as the light drew Tito and Lumira into the laptop. She quickly keyed in the sentence that would send them out, then picked up her phone. "I'll call, just to make sure they made it."

Lumira answered, and her voice was bemused. 

"Tiva, guess what? That fan that Nokoru gave me? I've still got it! It came with me! I can't tell what it says…Wait. I think it's 'Every day's smile is golden'. Dunno how he fit it all on one fan…"

Tiva relayed this information to the others, and the girls felt their pockets. Carolyn came up with Vash's sunglasses, and a scrap of cloth. She snuggled it. "I'm going to frame it and hang it over my bed, that way Himura-chan is always near me," she declared dreamily. 

Dweeb pulled out the envelope Tomoyo had given her and pulled out the object inside. It was a magazine, on the cover of which was…Dweeb. Dressed in a rather stylish outfit, she was posing, and the distant look in her eyes was disguised by the glare of the camera light. 

"Wow, you look cool!" exclaimed Carolyn, taking the magazine and flipping through it. "Hey, you're here too! And here, and here…" She pointed to the pictures, grinning. 

Tiva rummaged in her pocket, and took out the earring. "Ahh…pretty…" She tried it on, and smiled to herself. 

Dweeb called Tito, and confirmed that he was there. Then she took back her magazine from Carolyn, and nodded to the others. 

"I'm going home. Bye, all."

"See ya later, Dweeb."

"Bye!"

This left Carolyn and Tiva alone in Tiva's room. They looked at each other, and grinned.

"What say we read the instructions this time…?" Tiva trailed off.

"Yep." Carolyn's grin widened. "And maybe was can program it to pull in Lumira and Dweeb, and Tito…and maybe Invader Krag, and Wonkenbluecat, and…"

"Oh, that'll make them so mad!"

"Yep."

They traded identical evil smiles.

"Oh yes. The fun's just begun."


End file.
